Renovation Project

We haven't had television services at home for many years, but when we travel we end up glued to the screen watching home renovation shows. There is something incredibly compelling about the journey of seeing something transformed and repurposed. While there are a variety of different shows, the basic premise and story arc is the same.

It always begins with a vision and excitement about the potential at the beginning of the project. Once the work is fully engaged, however, there are always unexpected costs and complications. When the layers are pulled back there ends up being underlying damage to the structure that couldn't be previously seen. At some point in the project the owners will be frustrated and express their doubts about whether the renovation will ever be completed. There is always a turning point where things begin to come together and every owner is always amazed at how beautiful things turn out at the end.

I don't think this story arc is much different for the spiritual renovation work we do in our own lives. Any project we go through gets messier before it gets fresh and new. The complications we run into will most likely lead us into wanting to give up before it's done. This process also won't wrap up neatly into a 30 minute episode, but ends up taking longer than we may have initially projected. The good news is that we can gain some confidence in knowing that if we continue to push forward it will turn out better than we anticipated.

Know Yourself

One of the hardest parts of personal growth is self-awareness. I know of very few people who are completely self-aware, but I know far too many who have no apparent self-awareness at all. This makes personal interactions difficult and also complicates lasting life transformation.

Having self-awareness is having a correct view of who you are. It is what is true about yourself and is the first step for growth and development. Looking introspectively reveals a willingness to confront and change negative behaviors while reinforcing positive interactions and attitudes. This is a growth process which takes a heaping dose of humility as we see things we may not want to see, but need to recognize if we want to grow.

This wasn't always an area of strength for me and while I am far from where I would like to be, I feel I am more cognizant of who I am than I used to be. This has been helped by people who cared enough to tell me the truth and were patient as I worked on improving. It hasn't (isn't) been an easy process, but the consistent work pays off in better relationships and an improved understanding of who I really am moving forward.

Find the Pattern

My wife and I attended a church planting conference a few years ago and spoke with a leader who talked about examining the patterns in our lives. He said that analyzing these rhythms would enable us to see how God had worked in our past and the potential for how our future would develop. Since that conversation I've found myself thinking more about the patterns that affect my life and how I've developed them. Some of them are the result of years of influence while others are more recent as I work to make positive changes.

If we are willing to risk taking a closer look, I think we'd discover there are healthy and unhealthy patterns in our life. Some of them are positive building blocks for our future (i.e. exercise, a healthy work/rest balance, and religious practices) while others are detrimental for our health (negative thinking, destructive cycles of addictive behavior, and poor relationship choices.) Often these have become the foundational parts of life without us realizing it.

If we want to make changes in the current state of our lives, we've got to examine the patterns we live by and be willing to replace life draining behaviors with those that are life-giving. This careful introspection isn't easy because it makes us look honestly at the underlying reasons for our choices in thought, speech, attitude, and action. We then begin a lifelong journey of cutting out deep-rooted negativity and substituting better choices. This isn't done overnight, but only through a commitment to escape the cycle of unsatisfactory living.

Refusing to acknowledge and change those patterns condemns us to a journey of repeatedly making the same mistakes.

Continually Updating

Two years ago I started a journey of personal transformation. I had reached my IHHE moment (I Have Had Enough) and committed to a a lifestyle change to improve my physical health. I didn't know exactly how things were going to progress, but I knew I wasn't content to let them stay the same. It hasn't always been easy and there have been some potential detours in the road, but I have maintained my focus and kept pushing forward. I don't know exactly where this will end up or exactly what I will look like in the future, but I feel more confident walking down this pathway.

I am still a work in progress in many different ways and not just physically. I want to see my compassion increase, my emotional health improve, to become wiser, to increase in positive influence, to be a more fully devoted follower of Christ, and to find new ways to use my personal strengths to help others. I want to be an improved husband, father, and friend who benefits the lives of others. While I may be on the right track in some of these areas, I also recognize how far I have to go. Thankfully, my entire life is part of this journey and as long as I am drawing breath I have space to improve.

There is the potential for a better version of me in the future (Craig 2.1 if you will) and I am not content to stick with the present condition. I'm willing to work even when it isn't easy and chase after that vision even though I don't know exactly what I will look like. I do know that this commitment will bring noticeable changes over time and that can sometimes be the fuel I need to carry on.

My Own Appearance

In the past two years I have undergone a radical physical transformation as I've dedicated myself to a healthier lifestyle. At the beginning it wasn't easy to keep my focus, but it has now become a disciplined part of who I am. I feel better about myself and like how my improved health has changed my physical appearance.

Spending more time in the gym has also exposed me to a wider group of fitness fanatics who have obviously been working at this longer than I have. I see many of them coming in to work out in tank tops or cut off shirts that show off their weightlifting dedication. Several times I have thought to myself, "Don't wear a tank top to the gym because you don't look as muscular as that person." Even though I am comfortable with my fitness level, I still find myself caught in the comparison trap.

Comparison can be dangerous to our well being when we find ourselves constantly measuring our success based on someone else. It's not easy to set this aside, but it's essential if we want to keep a healthy perspective on our own progress. I think we can let others encourage us and push us forward into positive life change, but we can't allow their growth to define us. We don't need to look, think, talk, or live just like anyone else. Our confidence needs to come from being the best version of ourselves we can be.

It's Possible

Seeing people make positive changes in their life inspires me. It's one of the things that is appealing to me in my calling as a pastor, but it has also been a part of my passion before ministry. There is just something beautiful about seeing someone take a step forward to change some piece of their life puzzle. It's one of the reasons I heartily applaud beginning runners who take the first step towards better health. It's why I get emotional when people who have felt trapped in bad habits confess their willingness to be transformed and make the first step in recovery. It's a reason to celebrate the family who escapes the overwhelming weight of debt and is now able to live generously.

The process of finding hope is powerful. Sadly, far too many people don't begin these small steps of change because they don't believe it's possible. I think the weight of past decisions, abuse, and poor self-esteem often create conditions where people don't believe they can change. Perhaps the greatest benefit we can bring to someone is to stand beside them and shine a light into their situation that allows them to see something new is possible. If we can provide just a tiny ray of hope, we might be the impetus others need to believe they can attempt to change. Getting another person to believe transformation can potentially be one of our greatest acts of compassion.

Keep Doing It

For years I would play a game with my weight loss and gain. I would commit to a healthier pattern of eating until I lost enough weight to feel better about myself. Shortly after my pants got a little loose I would revert to old behaviors and forget about the good things that brought about change. Naturally, this cycle would continue to repeat itself over the years. It's funny to look back and see how quickly I would shift from eating a salad to dipping my Oreo cookies in bacon grease for a snack. This created a toxic cycle of moving from moderately decent decisions to old practices and back again.

This isn't just true of our dietary habits unfortunately. There are times when we commit to new ways of engaging in our relationships, transforming our thinking, or processing stress through constructive behaviors. Once those new practices start to deliver mild improvement we often start to ease up and forget to keep doing the positive things that brought change to begin with. We either think we've got the old habits completely under control or we just get lazy. Before we often realize it we are right back in those old haunting choices that led us down a path of destruction. We've stopped doing the right thing and have slipped into negative routines like putting on a well-worn pair of shoes.

The key to continued forward momentum is to keep doing the new, right things even if we think we've got it under control. That might mean eating salad for a little bit longer than we would like, but the long-term changes are worth the commitment to better living.

That's Inspiring!

I was having coffee with a good friend this morning and we were talking about people who influence our lives. He called someone an "inspiration" to him even though it hadn't moved him to do something different in his life. I suggested he was probably needed motivation more than inspiration if he wanted to change to take place.

There are countless stories of inspiring people and moments for us to witness. The explosion of accessibility through social media allows us to be uplifted by bravery, compassion, and perseverance from other people. A story of inspiration is only powerful for a brief period of time however. If we aren't motivated to do something with what has emotionally moved us it is merely a feeling which passes quickly. Without an action component, it's only a nice idea which temporarily impacts us before we move on to the next story.

True transformation takes place when things that inspire us also motivate us to do something about it.

Still Not There

I am not the man I want to be. In fact, there are times when I find myself disappointed with where I am in my development. It's a mentality where I find myself saying, "I thought I would be farther along than this by now." This can be discouraging if I focus too intently on the man I want to be without remembering the man I used to be.

There is a fine balance in personal growth of understanding the room for improvement yet recognizing how we've already grown. Focusing too intently on our past changes can cause us to celebrate transformation without seeing how we need to keep growing. Becoming frustrated with the amount of growth in front of us without recognizing what we've already accomplished can be discouraging.

To keep us hopeful and focused we need to remember we are on a lifelong journey of transformation. The markers of past growth remind us of what we've overcome while the potential of future growth is a challenge to keep moving ahead. I'm still here so I'm obviously not done growing yet.

Like-Minded

This morning I was able to have breakfast with 20-30 like-minded leaders in our community. We met in a local civic center to pray and to discuss the state of our town. I was able to see friends I know very well and was also able to meet new people who invested in the health of our community. It's hard to determine what will come out of today's gathering, but at the very least we were in agreement about the need to be engaged in making a difference. Sometimes there is great benefit gained just by knowing we don't stand alone. 

In circumstances where the odds might seem stacked against progress, we can be encouraged by a strong-willed, purpose-driven group of influential individuals. The desire to see positive change, redirected lives, and hopeful options can be the impetus for a community revival. All movements of restoration had to start somewhere. Why not with us?

Toughest Love

I wrote yesterday about the honor of speaking at a drug court graduation. My intent was to share some motivating thoughts (and a little Jesus at the same time) and I spent quite a while thinking about what to say. My desire was to provide some benefit while being part of something larger than my small portion. I hope what I had to say helped someone there, but for me the most powerful things said were by the graduates themselves. Each person shared a letter they had written about their experiences and how far they had come through the program. There was power in all of these shared stories, but there was one comment in particular that hit home with me. It was shared by a graduate who said that they "had to become a person I could love again."

There is a ton of powerful, personal truth in that statement. I could feel their pain from where they had been and the poor choices they had made. There was also a sense of resolution from not wanting to return to that lifestyle. This transparency revealed the heart of a weary traveler who realized they had given up on themselves like so many others in their life had done. It also revealed how far they had come in walking down a better life path and reestablishing the person they wanted to be.

Self-loathing and negative self-talk are terribly debilitating devices. These can become heavy burdens which press down on us until we can't think about moving forward. When we are unable to love ourselves we lose our sense of worth and struggle with the idea of life transformation and redemption. It's in the middle of this terrible hopelessness that we need a lifeline. We need someone who is willing to love us no matter what we've done and where we've ended up. People who are willing to love unconditionally provide a hint of hope and a chance to be pulled out of the pit of dark desperation.

Are we willing to step into that role for people in need? Are willing to offer gracious love, hope, and help to people wanting to make life changes? As people start the recovery process they need to know they don't have to rediscover love on their own. We can stand together with them-as difficult as that may be-and continue to be a source of consistent love. It's the best way of helping people find the path of restoration.

Invested Community

A friend gave me a unique opportunity to speak at a drug court graduation today. I'll admit this was a first for me, but I looked forward to the chance to share some encouragement. Speaking to a new crowd of people is always a pleasurable challenge even when some of your audience isn't there by their own choice. I anticipated it being a blend of people who were striving to make changes in their lives with some of them farther along the journey than others.

Today was the celebration of a tremendous amount of hard work from many different people. There are the faithful workers in the program who endure great successes and repeated failures. The room was full of family and friends there to celebrate the success of their loved ones after long times of shedding tears. There were seven graduates who had persevered for close to two years (and some for longer) and are now ready for the next phase of their life to begin. It was a poignant reminder that while an individual's choices may have led to a point of desperation it was the collaborative efforts of many that would lead to better life choices. All of us are better as part of an invested community.

One Year Later

It's been one year since I decided to change my life for the better. We had just returned from our annual vacation and I was tired of the constant roller coaster of healthy vs. unhealthy. My weight had shifted up and down for years in a 20-30 pound cycle and I realized it was not going to get any easier to keep off the pounds as I got older. My wife committed to helping me stay focused and I began a journey of healthy eating and exercise that has carried over to this year. One of my goals for 2015 was to complete a full calendar year of making better lifestyle choices. In that time I've become a runner, tried to encourage people who are making life change decisions, and shed 55 pounds. I keep telling myself that I won't go back to my old way of living and insist on continuing to make decisions that reinforce that conviction.

This might seem like a blog seeking out affirmation from others, but my intent is to actually encourage people to get started on the changes they want to make. Lasting transformation is a journey and it won't happen simply because we wish for it to be true. We are pulled to change due to the tension we feel between our current status and where we would like to be. Some days will take tremendous discipline and willpower, but hopefully the right patterns will be developed which help us all make better choices. Once you start to see positive changes it will only increase your commitment to the right course of action. Transformation won't take place in the next year unless we are willing to do something different from what we are currently practicing. As I often tell people, "You can't change in a day what took a lifetime to create." While this is true, I can start doing something new tomorrow which will eventually bring the change I'm looking for.

What new next step will you take to be transformed?

Running Together

My wife and I both took advantage of surprisingly cooler temps this morning and went running. We didn't run together (my longer legs make that difficult), but we gained great satisfaction from our separate miles. Afterwards, we were walking back up to the house when my wife said, "You realize we are one of those couples, don't you? Now we exercise and go to the gym together." Her statement was focused more on the changes in our lifestyles and our shared desire to improve our fitness than anything else.

I love that I have made changes to my life, but I gain greater satisfaction in sharing them with my wife. Neither one of us is okay with accepting "the norm" and want to push each other to grow as we pursue God's pathway for us. We get to help each other persevere through adversity, ask & answer tough questions, and contemplate the potential possibilities as we live a life of faith. We aren't the same couple we were even just a year ago and that's because of God's work in both of us.

There is no one I would rather share this journey with than her.

Celebrations Help

I love to see lives transformed for the better and I appreciate the perseverance it takes to see success. Yesterday I wrote about beginning that journey right where we are and not waiting for some distant date or event before beginning. We won’t reach our destination if we are unwilling to start heading in a positive direction. I think there’s another key element that helps us maintain our focus along the way—celebrating the small steps of progress.

We miss opportunities to encourage people when we only celebrate ten years of sobriety, twenty years of marriage, or a year of wise financial decisions. Courage can often be gained and reinforced by honoring small moments of wisdom and perseverance. What if we shouted praises to the person who walked one lap around their neighborhood just as much as the person who finished their first marathon? What if we applauded one day of giving up cigarettes instead of reminding people of how far they have to go before their habit is kicked? You can’t build a year of positive habits without the 365 days that fill the calendar.

Let’s start encouraging people for their small steps in the right direction instead of waiting for a big moment to let them know we’re proud. The minimal investment of celebration may give them the courage to keep moving towards transformation.

Just Get Started

It's not a new thing for me to write and think about starting new patterns in life. I think it's become ingrained as part of me even though it wasn't necessarily natural until the last few years. Part of it is my passionate enthusiasm for the concept of new beginnings which can't become real until we start something. I think we get overwhelmed with this idea when we look at daunting changes and how far we have to go to reach our goal. I'll admit this can be discouraging and can persuade us to avoid change instead of tackling it head on. There have been times when I've given up before I started because the obstacles in front of me seemed to large and the journey too long.

I don't intend to make change sound easier than it is and I recognize how difficult life-altering habits can be to establish. Sometimes we just need encouragement from others on the journey and the validation that we can simply start where we are. We don't have to reach a certain level before we can begin life change, but can begin at whatever point in life we find ourselves. It's the forward progress that makes a difference. The starting line for the journey to transformation isn't off in the distance. It's right in front of us waiting for us to take the first step.

New Thinking

The most dangerous weapon in the world isn't a gun or some other explosive device, but our minds. All unrest and inequality starts here and then flows out into our attitudes, speech, and actions. When the thoughts our mind generates are positive, we have tremendous power to change things for good. We have the fuel to correct wrongs, care deeply for others, and start movements that change our society. When those thoughts are negative, we perpetuate stereotypes, inflict grievous harm, and diminish anyone who might be different from us.  

If we want to see things change for the better, we need to transform our way of thinking. This will revolutionize our society and bring new hope. Is it possible on our own? A true new beginning in thought is best found through Christ. It is a process that He must fuel combined with our faithful pursuit of Him. This is the hope we have for transformation that is authentic and lasting.

Done

There are three significantly powerful words that have changed life as we know it. They may not seem like much, but when they are spoken by the right man they are transforming. When they are uttered at the right time in history they signify a shift in the value system of the world. Those words are simply:

It Is Finished.

These were spoken by Christ on the cross at the moment of His death. It is a statement of power and a declaration of the completion of a phase of history. From that point forward our entire concept of religion, forgiveness, and devotion were radically altered. It was a unique moment that delivered present and future impact. The immediate physical task at hand was finished and this part of Christ's journey was complete. He was also declaring to the world that any future charges of sin and guilt for the sin of His people had ended. In three simple words Jesus Christ was dismissive of our sin and the voice of the enemy. 

Perhaps we need to remind ourselves of this simple phrase more often. It contains the hope we are often searching for.

Grace Period

Our youth pastor & his wife attended a conference last month and heard a speaker share the following phrase concerning teenagers, "Don't judge a book by its cover or by the first few chapters." It's an encouragement to be part of the transformation process for youth and not make concrete judgments about who they are at an early age. It's a reminder that our youth are a work in progress and we need to show them some grace through their growth.

It's actually pretty good advice for all of us. I don't think it just applies to our early years of life, but also the formative years of many life seasons. I'm glad that many parts of my life are not defined only by the first few years: my marriage, my parenting, my development as a man, and my role in ministry. Instead it's a good reminder that we are all (hopefully) a work in progress and we all need a little grace. Sometimes (especially early in development) we need that grace even more.

Keep Moving

It's not coincidental (see last Sunday's blog) that I continue to hear challenges to transform our community. It's a tension felt by many and I'm grateful to be part of a church that is dedicated to doing something about it. I believe this tension is felt by many of us, but not everyone is committed to making something happen. I believe people have good intentions, but often get bogged down in a few areas.

Our lead pastor shared a message this morning that called us to action and to making a substantial difference in our community. There were three essential elements to that change: prayer, planning, and taking action. It doesn't seem mind-boggling to grasp this concept, but it's important to have all three of these without zeroing in on only one of them. Asking the following questions might help us stay focused:

• Are you spending so much time in prayer that you don't do anything?
• Are you planning so much that you never take action?
• Are you taking action so quickly that you neglect to pray?

We need all three of these to move forward with God's blessing, wisdom, and power. Our communities are waiting for us to do something about it.