My Own Appearance

In the past two years I have undergone a radical physical transformation as I've dedicated myself to a healthier lifestyle. At the beginning it wasn't easy to keep my focus, but it has now become a disciplined part of who I am. I feel better about myself and like how my improved health has changed my physical appearance.

Spending more time in the gym has also exposed me to a wider group of fitness fanatics who have obviously been working at this longer than I have. I see many of them coming in to work out in tank tops or cut off shirts that show off their weightlifting dedication. Several times I have thought to myself, "Don't wear a tank top to the gym because you don't look as muscular as that person." Even though I am comfortable with my fitness level, I still find myself caught in the comparison trap.

Comparison can be dangerous to our well being when we find ourselves constantly measuring our success based on someone else. It's not easy to set this aside, but it's essential if we want to keep a healthy perspective on our own progress. I think we can let others encourage us and push us forward into positive life change, but we can't allow their growth to define us. We don't need to look, think, talk, or live just like anyone else. Our confidence needs to come from being the best version of ourselves we can be.

Comparison Shopping

Looking for a new(ish) car isn't fun. I've only done it a handful of times without some expert help (my stepfather, good car-minded friends, etc.) but we are currently searching for one for our oldest daughter. I've spent a lot of time online looking for a good deal and even wandered onto a used car lot today to check. It's not an easy process to find what you're looking for as you compare models, features, mileage, and especially price. It is essential, however, to measure what you see against other deals to make sure you get something worthwhile.

Comparison is a helpful tool when picking out a car, but it can be damaging when it's centered on yourself. Determining how successful you are by the success of others isn't a valid or healthy tool. Measuring your physical fitness by another person isn't completely accurate. Deciding if you are a good parent based on how another father interacts with his daughters isn't a true indicator of my family's stability.

The comparison trap can be overwhelming dangerous and discouraging if it's the only measurement we use. While we can gain insight from witnessing the lives of other people, we risk debilitating discouragement when we try to be just like other people instead of being the best version of ourselves we can be. Let the people around us be an inspiration (and sometimes a warning) without being a measuring stick we can't compare to.

Always Competing

I was running early this morning to beat the heat and came up the block to find three runners down the street in front of me. Immediately, I thought about the need to pass them and leave them behind me. We weren’t in a race and there were no medals being awarded, but I still felt the urge to run faster than them. As I closed the distance between us I told myself that I wasn’t actually in competition with them, but I was really competing with myself.

Even in a road race I know I’m competing against my abilities and best time. While my objective may be to finish in front of someone I’m not racing against their personal record and pace, but my own. This helps me avoid the trap of comparison as I don’t have to live up to their standards, but only my own. There is freedom in this mentality that affects other areas of my life as well. I don’t have to be a better man, husband, father, pastor, or friend than anyone else. I just need to be better than I was yesterday. I’m not stuck trying to live up to anyone’s version of what I should be, but simply letting God work in me daily as I follow this path He’s given me.

The Comparison Trap

We do ourselves tremendous personal damage when we step into the comparison trap. We believe that we are not measuring up to the exact practices set by other men, husbands, couples, parents and Christians. As a result, we see our self-esteem plummet as we become consumed with meeting someone else's standards and failing miserably. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't be encouraged by people who are at different phases of the life journey. We can even find ourselves motivated by those around us to work harder at leading in our personal and professional life. Defeatism occurs when we believe we have to be exactly like someone else that appears to be doing it better than we currently are. Life is better lived when we spur each other to be better leaders and followers. We just don't have to be exactly like someone else or lead in the exact manner that they do.

God doesn't want you to be a second rate version of someone else. He wants you to be a first rate version of yourself.