Storage Capacity

As I was driving home recently, I went by a site where a series of storage units were being built. My first thought as I rode past it was, “Really? Another storage unit? Do we actually need this?” I feel confident this was not an overestimation on my part of the number of storage facilities in our community. Obviously there is a demand for them or there wouldn’t be an increase in their supply. It’s a thriving industry as people collect so much “stuff” that they need to store them in other locations. Perhaps if we didn’t insist on keeping things we don’t need there wouldn’t be a continual demand for the construction of more storage units.

We don’t just hang onto physical things however. Our journey through life takes us through relationships, decisions, and unexpected circumstances that lead us to accumulate emotional and spiritual baggage as well. Those life experiences have value as they have shaped us into who we are today and should not be ignored. If we don’t learn to deal with them in a healthy manner, however, we end up hanging on to parts of life that we don’t really need. We harbor resentment, exude bitterness, cling to unforgiveness, wallow in shame, and live in mistrust—the things we cling to out of our hurt. Don’t reject the life lessons from difficult life experiences, but refuse to store up the negativity that often accompany them.

Much like the possessions in life we no longer have a purpose for—we should pick up each of these old scars, carefully examine them, and discard the ones that no longer influence us in a healthy way. Hanging on to them only crowds out space for engaging in new ways of thinking and feeling that take us down healthier pathways.

Pick One

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." Yogi Berra

Yogi was famous for saying things that didn't always seem to connect. At first glance, this saying appears to be another slightly confusing bit of wisdom that doesn't add up. If you look at it a little more closely, however, it is better advice than it might appear at first.

On our life's journey we will inevitably come to a point where we are presented with different options. It may be related to our health, career, relationships, spirituality, or even our finances. When confronted with those new directions, we will need to decide which one we think is best and then move down that path. If we don't take action, we'll stop moving forward and become paralyzed by our indecision.

It's okay to pause and figure out our next best step, but at some point we've got to take a step if we want to keep going.

Find the Pattern

My wife and I attended a church planting conference a few years ago and spoke with a leader who talked about examining the patterns in our lives. He said that analyzing these rhythms would enable us to see how God had worked in our past and the potential for how our future would develop. Since that conversation I've found myself thinking more about the patterns that affect my life and how I've developed them. Some of them are the result of years of influence while others are more recent as I work to make positive changes.

If we are willing to risk taking a closer look, I think we'd discover there are healthy and unhealthy patterns in our life. Some of them are positive building blocks for our future (i.e. exercise, a healthy work/rest balance, and religious practices) while others are detrimental for our health (negative thinking, destructive cycles of addictive behavior, and poor relationship choices.) Often these have become the foundational parts of life without us realizing it.

If we want to make changes in the current state of our lives, we've got to examine the patterns we live by and be willing to replace life draining behaviors with those that are life-giving. This careful introspection isn't easy because it makes us look honestly at the underlying reasons for our choices in thought, speech, attitude, and action. We then begin a lifelong journey of cutting out deep-rooted negativity and substituting better choices. This isn't done overnight, but only through a commitment to escape the cycle of unsatisfactory living.

Refusing to acknowledge and change those patterns condemns us to a journey of repeatedly making the same mistakes.

Avoiding Circles

In the past year and half I've developed an addiction to running. I've also discovered I don't like running around a loop to put in my miles. Perhaps it's a throwback to my days in junior high PE where we had to run around a quarter mile track to reach our long distance. Those circular patterns reinforce my desire to change my scenery and vary the pace when I'm running. It keeps things fresh and stimulates my senses enough to prevent boredom from setting in.

This isn't confined only to my running habits either. I can get caught up in patterns of thought and emotion which run me around in uncomfortable, unfulfilling circles as well. When I recognize this circular rhythm, I have to find ways to bring change to my surroundings to find variety in my routine. It reminds me of a phrase I often reflect on from an author/pastor I follow: "Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective." 

Getting tired of moving and thinking in circles isn't change-provoking on its own. I've actually got to choose new patterns and methods if I want my scenery to be different.

Making Choices

Friday is usually my weekly day off and gives me the chance to sleep in a bit later than usual. I don’t always stay asleep much longer than normal, but I often take my time getting out of bed. I’ll pray and meditate on a few things and just relax in the thought of a day off. Some days I prefer to spend that time leisurely enjoying a cup of coffee, but today I chose to lay in bed a while longer.

I had other things I intended to do today as well. I needed a haircut, wanted to hit the gym for a hard workout, and ended up needing to run a few errands. By choosing to stay in bed longer, however, I eliminated some of the time I could spend reading and drinking my coffee. Unless I was willing to be gone until mid-afternoon, I had to get moving a little faster. My early decision to not get up and get moving eliminated other early morning options.

That happens to us as we make choices. There are decisions we make which cause us to forfeit the right to make other decisions. The path we pick (even a short-term one) removes other options from our horizon. These could be financial, health related, in relationships, and our professional path. That doesn’t always mean our choice was poor, but it reminds us of the need to carefully evaluate options. When we understand how the decisions we make are not only affecting this particular moment, we start to see how our lives are the sum of all the things we choose to do.

Vision Training

Ted Williams was arguably one of the greatest baseball players of all time. He is the last man to hit .400 over an entire baseball season and is a measuring stick for all great hitters. Baseball legends report that his eyesight was so crisp he could see the seams on the baseball as it was thrown from the pitcher. Whether that was true or not, he still had extraordinary vision which is key for success in baseball.

This type of vision doesn't come naturally for everyone. When I was in college, our baseball team went through vision training drills. We would set up a room in the offseason where each player would go through exercises specifically trained to increase peripheral vision and reaction time. These also included agility and balance drills while focusing on improving eyesight. The theory was that training a player's vision would improve their performance.

We had no real time data to determine if this made baseball players better, but the principle of vision training applies to other parts of our life. We function as parents because of what we have seen our parents do (or not do.) We lead others because of how we have seen other people lead. Our life experiences shape the way we view things. These are all a current part of our vision, but they don't have to be the permanent way we we look at things. I believe we have the choice to train ourselves to look at people, circumstances, and our environment differently. We have the power to decide the old way of looking at things is not satisfactory and to do something different. It may not be easy to retrain our vision, but it is possible if we decide it matters enough to us.

Thinking Ahead

Part of my afternoon was spent in advance meal preparation. I cooked two pounds of sausage and 18 eggs to make burritos for my breakfasts for the next two weeks. It takes about an hour to cook the ingredients, wrap the burritos for freezing, and clean up the kitchen. The benefit is that I now have food covered for the rest of my week at home and for next week while I am at middle school camp. The up front cost of time and energy helps me make a healthier choice because I was willing to plan ahead.

Too many times we are left with poor choices in the moment because we haven't planned far enough ahead. We haven't set back financial reserves, created margin in our schedules, or even thought about contingency options in our plans. Obviously there is no way to be entirely equipped for changes in circumstances, but we can hopefully set ourselves up to be a little more successful if we think some things through ahead of time.

Family Has Value

Yesterday, Adam LaRoche unexpectedly retired after a solid baseball career. He has been a contributor at the major league level for 12 years and is a respected player. Adam wasn't a superstar, but had played solidly for several different teams. He is also a devoted father who often brought his son to the ballpark to be part of the game. This had not been an issue at any other point during his career and in fact, his son was considered the unofficial team "mascot" for his time with the Washington Nationals.

LaRoche had just finished the first year of a two year contract with the Chicago White Sox when he decided to leave the game. His retirement means he walks away from $13 million instead of playing out his contract. The main reason he chose to leave is that a senior leader in the White Sox organization asked him to keep his son away from baseball activities. With Adam knowing this was his last year no matter what, he decided he wasn't willing to spend it without his son. Instead of decreasing his family time, LaRoche chose to leave a very large sum of money on the table and walk away.

While there may be merits for both sides of this disagreement, I have to respect Adam's choice as a father. His time with his young teenage son during the last year of his playing career was too important for him to compromise. He wanted to tell his son that family was more important than finishing out a contract even if the money involved is larger than most people will make in a lifetime. Adam clearly communicated where his values were and left no doubt in his family's mind.

Am I doing that with my own family? Can they tell how much of a priority they are to me by the decisions I make? Have my actions removed any doubt about their value and how much I care? There may be times when I am better at this than others, but I pray my wife and daughters can see their importance through all of them.

Sorting Through It All

We were heavily involved with a local homeless assistance shelter when I worked in youth ministry in Florida. Periodically we would take groups down to help prepare and serve a meal. This gave our youth a chance to take part in something bigger than themselves and also helped them become aware of a need in their community.

There was one time in particular when we asked to help sort through some food that had been donated. In this batch was a large donation of fresh green beans which were no longer able to be sold. Obviously, not all of these green beans were edible so we were tasked with sorting through them to keep what was good and toss what could not be served. There are really no specific words to describe the feeling of a slimy, inedible green bean between your fingers-even when wearing latex gloves. It was an unpleasant, but necessary task if we were going to keep what was useful while getting rid of the trash.

Sorting through things in our life can often have the same unpleasantness. There are habits, relationships, dreams, and beliefs which need to be picked through and cast aside for our overall health. Unless we thoughtfully separate the good and the bad, we can end up with an overall negative influence spreading throughout our lives. The task of dividing what stays from what must go won't necessarily be pleasant and may even leave a distasteful memory. The cost of not sorting things out, however, is much higher than we should be willing to pay.

Fill It Up!

Before I changed my eating habits close to a year and a half ago, I used to say my favorite restaurant was a free buffet. I took great pleasure in putting away a ton of food and was comfortable whether it was a salad bar, pizza buffet, Chinese restaurant, or country cooking. Fortunately, I had friends who shared a love for the bottomless food pit and worked with teenagers who would relish the challenge of "all-you-can-eat." We were known for looking for a buffet when it came time to eat and would share tales of the amount of food we had eaten in different places. We even planned out the location of our favorite buffet restaurants for our road trips.

At these gluttony palaces I would pile the food on my plate even though it wasn't necessary-after all, I could go back as many times as I wanted. In fact, sometimes the food would fill my plate to the point of overflowing. In my efforts to get as much as possible on one plate I would inevitably end up losing some food item off the side when something else was added. No matter how much I wanted to put on my plate, there was a limit and something would be lost if I persisted.

While I may not frequent those eating establishments anymore, I am still guilty of trying to crowd too many things onto one plate. In my desire to not miss out on anything and to be part of big, positive projects I end up squeezing out things that are important. This doesn't diminish my desire to achieve more, but it leaves me feeling frustrated when I can't keep the things that really matter in front of me. With too many items on one day's agenda there is a guarantee that something will be pushed off due to a lack of time and energy.

I've either got to limit the number of tasks I take on or resign myself to losing something when it falls off the edge.

Choosing a Path

I’ve written before about my fascination with people and their individual stories. I wonder how they’ve ended up in their present condition and location and the path of life which has led them here. It’s not always easy to see the depth of a life story from a distance and some people are very good at hiding those stories. Sadly, the pain of life can be more obvious in some people than in others even from far away.

A derailed life is a result of choice. That doesn’t mean people always choose to live a life which has drifted into pain and discomfort. It does reflect our previous (and sometimes current) choices which have crafted difficult circumstances. These can be a direct result of the decisions made by each of us while some of our present condition is caused by the choices of others around us. The weight of poor choices can be a heavy burden to bear.


While we can’t negate the past influence of these options, we can decide what to do with them in the future. Each of us possesses the power to cast aside the weight of what is behind and strain ahead into something better. It’s the only way to get a derailed life story back on track.

Answering the Call

Earlier this year I wrote about the power of a "one word" focus and how it shapes the rest of the year. My word for this year is "calling" and I'm still working through what it means and how the rest of my decisions should be shaped by it. There is more depth in this particular word than I can adequately define right now, but I think that's part of the process of spending the year working through it. I do believe we each have them (several actually) that should guide us the decisions we make and the way we spend our energies.

I don't want to reduce the power of a calling to an action list of behaviors, but I also recognize some necessary steps to live it out:

-Realize you have one. This isn't just about your career passion, but the total person you're becoming.

-Develop the skills to support it. A passionate desire needs to be paired with a willingness to learn how to be better.

-Let it be the mission that fuels your choices. This should lead us to make decisions to increase our integrity and strengthen our character in pursuit of our calling. Everything we do should be structured by our desire to completely live this out.

Exploring your calling can be frightening especially as we are stretched to grow in new areas and to work on our areas of weakness. The satisfaction we gain from living fully in this will be worth the work we have to put in to make it a genuine part of who we are becoming.

Keep Turning

There’s an illustration I’ve read about a giant, heavy flywheel. A person is charged with turning it and has a very difficult time getting it to move because of its weight. They keep pushing on it and start to see it inch forward and it still takes an hour to make one revolution. After consistently applying pressure, the wheel starts to pick up speed. Eventually, the weight of the wheel begins to work to help the spinning movement until it finally rocks along in a steady rhythm. The question is asked: what turn of the wheel was the one that moved it faster? Was it the 1500th or the 110th spin that made the difference? The truth is that every push of the wheel helped to make it happen. They all contributed to the momentum.

Transformation and opportunity in our lives are the result of all the decisions we have made to this point. There isn’t one choice that has radically changed our lives, but the sum total has created momentum for us to move forward. Don’t neglect the power of the moment you are living in and how it contributes to positive movement. Even when things don’t seem to be going forward our focused efforts will help us in the long run.

Our future destination is found in the sum of our life experiences.

Shaping Life

“Incident piled on incident no more makes life 

than brick piled on brick makes a house.” 

Edith Ronald Mirrielees

If you want to build something worthwhile, you’ve got to take the raw material and shape it into what you desire. We don’t always get to decide what our supplies will be, but we can determine how we’ll use what we’ve been given. We forfeit the right to complain about the product if we won’t invest ourselves in the process.

No Regrets?

It's common to hear people say they want to live a life of no regrets. This is usually fueled by the idea of taking risks and not wanting to lament missed opportunities later in life. The underlying philosophy is that anything from our past has only helped to make us who we are today. Even if things don't end up as planned, it was still a risk worth taking.

The trials and tough circumstances of my life have certainly helped to shape me into the man I have become. Even though it is true that doesn't mean I live without regrets. There are many decisions I have made I wish I could take back. There have been words spoken carelessly and hurtfully, actions committed without thought of impact and repercussion, and attitudes which have permanently damaged relationships. Just because I have managed to overcome some of these doesn't mean I don't regret those decisions.

Maybe the healthiest approach to this kind of life is to make sure I don't choose to do something that will bring regrets--either from missing out on opportunities or causing pain to people around me. It can be an admirable life focus as long as it's not used as an excuse for poor decision making.

Do What You Want

Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.  1 Corinthians 10:23

This is a verse I think about and quote often. It's a great reminder of the freedom we have to act, think, and speak as we wish, but also of the consequences of our choices. What we choose to do and say will affect people around us and may create a rift in our relationships if we aren't careful. 

While we may be comfortable with our lifestyle and faith decisions, others may not recognize the balance we maintain. I don't believe we need to over-think or fret about every decision we make, but we should at least be respectfully cognizant of other people. A healthy respect for the choices of others reveals our maturity and our willingness to engage in dialogue without immediately alienating people. It's not a responsibility to take lightly if we truly value our potential to generate positive influence.

Just because we can doesn't mean we should. 

Yes Means No

When we choose to say "yes" to something we are also choosing to say "no" to something else. The truth is our resources are limited: time, money, energy, relationships, mental capacity, and connectivity. If we buy a new car and make payments, we are declining to use that money in other areas. If we decide to get up early to exercise each morning, we are giving up the option of sleeping in. If we decide to play golf after work three days a week, we are forfeiting the opportunity to spend time with our kids.

Regardless of what popular culture might tell us, we can't have it all. We've got to decide what we want (and need) the most and choose accordingly.

Which Way?

I ran in my first 5K this morning and had some goals going into it I hoped to achieve. I was close to my goal for my overall time, but didn't win a medal. There was an interesting development in the race as confusion arose over the layout of the course. This led to almost all of the runners turning down the wrong road and running 2.2 miles instead of 3.1 miles. I had run the course a few times based on an online map so I didn't think we were on the right track. Instead of following the runners in front of me, I chose to double back to get back on course even though it cost me and put me in a definitive minority. I don't regret the experience or my decision even if it didn't turn out exactly as I had hoped.

Life will present opportunities to either choose to follow the crowd or set your own course. Hopefully, we're aware enough to know what is right and can stick to that direction even if we don't end up running with the crowd.

Think First

Too often we speak in situations without giving careful thought to the words we use or the timing of our interjections. Just because we have an opinion on a subject (like everyone else) doesn't mean we need to always vocalize that opinion. I've learned through many failures and ill-timed comments we should guard our tongue more carefully and be judicious on when we choose to speak. There is an often repeated and yet true guide to help us determine when we should speak up and when we should be silent:

• Can I verify that what I am about to say is the truth?
• Is what I am sharing beneficial to others or just for my own gratification?
• Will this motivate and encourage those that are listening?
• Is it absolutely essential I share this or is it just an attempt at self-validation?
• Is this truly a kind thing to say or am I using sarcastic humor and a passive aggressive attitude to communicate?

All You Can

My (old) standard line was that my favorite restaurant was a free buffet. It's actually kind of sad how much I used to enjoy a buffet. I would rate the various ones by the offering of food and the amount we could pack in to our bodies for the cost. I even have several stories of buffet times with different groups of friends. Even though the food might have been good it was more about the mentality of getting the most bang for my buck. I would go back for multiple dishes even when I had obviously hit my food saturation point. At the end of all that there still had to be one more trip for dessert.  

The buffets always advertised "all you can eat" and I certainly tested that mentality. It probably would have been healthier for me to approach it with the idea of "all I should eat." That would have changed my tactics and been healthier for me in the long run. It's a good practice for many things in my life. There are many things that I can do, but I need to discipline myself to think carefully about what I should do first. It's a principle echoed in the Scripture -all things are permissible, but not everything is beneficial.