Fill It Up!

Before I changed my eating habits close to a year and a half ago, I used to say my favorite restaurant was a free buffet. I took great pleasure in putting away a ton of food and was comfortable whether it was a salad bar, pizza buffet, Chinese restaurant, or country cooking. Fortunately, I had friends who shared a love for the bottomless food pit and worked with teenagers who would relish the challenge of "all-you-can-eat." We were known for looking for a buffet when it came time to eat and would share tales of the amount of food we had eaten in different places. We even planned out the location of our favorite buffet restaurants for our road trips.

At these gluttony palaces I would pile the food on my plate even though it wasn't necessary-after all, I could go back as many times as I wanted. In fact, sometimes the food would fill my plate to the point of overflowing. In my efforts to get as much as possible on one plate I would inevitably end up losing some food item off the side when something else was added. No matter how much I wanted to put on my plate, there was a limit and something would be lost if I persisted.

While I may not frequent those eating establishments anymore, I am still guilty of trying to crowd too many things onto one plate. In my desire to not miss out on anything and to be part of big, positive projects I end up squeezing out things that are important. This doesn't diminish my desire to achieve more, but it leaves me feeling frustrated when I can't keep the things that really matter in front of me. With too many items on one day's agenda there is a guarantee that something will be pushed off due to a lack of time and energy.

I've either got to limit the number of tasks I take on or resign myself to losing something when it falls off the edge.

Taking a Difficult Walk

We have two delightfully playful dogs our family loves deeply. While we enjoy having them as part of our lives, it can sometimes be a challenge to walk them. This seems as if it should be a simple task, but it often becomes much more difficult. 

As hard as it may seem to believe, the dogs don't always cooperate and go where we want to lead them. They often pull against us making the walk less than pleasant especially when resistance is constant. If something big (or small) distracts them they will yank even harder on the leash in an effort to chase it. Then they get frantic when we won't let them pursue the object of their attention. Most of the time we end up going back inside with both of us being frustrated.

While all characteristics of dogs don't apply to humans (although a great many of them could certainly fit) this idea of "pulling against the leash" is applicable. We don't always like to be led in a different direction and can be difficult to be around when it happens. Our focus is often divided when a distraction comes across our pathway. If we are unable to maintain a disciplined vision, we'll end up frustrated instead of being fulfilled. Perhaps we could gain some insight from the advice we give our dogs and just relax. It doesn't mean we have to ignore everything around us. We only need to recognize when it's time to leap after it and when it's time to enjoy the walk.

It's Your Move

I've been reminded this week of a lesson that I already have been over far too many times. No matter what my scope of influence is, no matter how much I pray, regardless of the passion and intent behind what I say, I can't make another person do something. I can plead, cajole, administer tough love, gently nudge, and model good (and poor) decision making and I am still unable to make someone choose wisely.

My children are going to make decisions that I will not agree with (some that will cause them pain and disappointment) and I won't be able to stop them. People that I have invested in over the years will defy logic and wisdom and make decisions that will obliterate their life as they currently know it. There will be those that come to me seeking counsel that will ignore what I share with them at the next convenient moment.

I can choose to be overly frustrated by these unfolding circumstances and quit or continue to prayerfully push ahead and do what I know is right. It's really not a difficult decision to make, but it doesn't mean that the disappointment is any less when you see people suffering due to the pathway of their own choosing.

Boiling Point

I don't always express my frustration well. My level of dissatisfaction and poor management can make this difficult as situations & circumstances seem to exponentially explode. I have learned (through very tough lessons) how to handle it better than I used to, but I still have to remind myself to respond in healthier ways.

How should we handle inevitable frustration?

• Pray: God will see things that we can't and understands how this scenario plays into His plan to continue to develop us. Seek His peace that passes our ability to understand.
• Practice humility: You might find that you are part of your own frustration level. Don't elevate yourself above others and think that you are not part of the problem.
• Gain perspective: There are always things that we don't completely understand. Take a deep breath and step back to see things differently. You might discover there is very little substance to your frustration.
• Ask if an attitude shift or a circumstance adjustment is needed: Frustration may be alleviated by a change in ourselves before we seek to change what is causing the friction.
• Clearly communicate: This is best done outside of the inflammatory emotion of the moment. Once you are able to process things calmly use an economy of words & deeds to helpfully express your thoughts.
• Move on: Sometimes the best advice is to simply get over yourself. It's amazing how quickly some frustration goes away if we decide to not let it affect us.

It's inevitable that we will all be frustrated with people and events. Not allowing it to overwhelm and incapacitate us is the key to survival.

Seems About Right

My wife & I started using a phrase last summer for when things just seem to stay difficult or keep going wrong. Instead of venting or becoming frustrated, we would simply respond, "Seems about right."

Today was that kind of day. What started peacefully with good Bible & prayer time quickly devolved as the day went on. It was a day where everything took twice as long as I had planned and became infinitely more difficult to achieve in the process. Technology seemed to fail to work as it should and I was unable to gain momentum in a good (any) direction with all of the distractions. Before heading home, I chose to move some boxes from one area to another so that I could cross something off of my list--even it was simple.

Some days are just like that. The good intentions of the morning don't always translate to successful productivity at the end of the day. As frustrating as that may be for me personally, it still doesn't change my position with God. There will still be new mercies for me in the morning and a chance to start over. My confidence in God doesn't mean that tomorrow will automatically be more productive or successful, but it does give me some peaceful patience in the middle of days that just "seem about right."