Surviving the Heat

The smoldering hot summer temperatures are here. Other parts of the country have been feeling them longer than we have here in Georgia and we are now in the middle of the oppressive heat. It's an overwhelming high temperature that tests the capacity of air conditioning systems and human tolerance. This obviously leads to complaints wherever you go about the summer time temps and how awful they are.

I can't do anything to change the triple digit heat, but I can try to do things to adapt. I've had to adjust my exercise routine and no longer run right after work. We're closing curtains to keep out direct sunlight and have added a window A/C unit in our bedroom. We've even adjusted our dinner habits on the hottest of days and don't cook anything that requires the oven to be on for long periods of time. Our best option is to make adaptations where we can for our best benefit.

There are many circumstances in our lives we can't directly alter. Complaining about the state of things often becomes the next natural step even though that only increases our frustration level. When we are faced with those seemingly unconquerable moments, we'll cope more effectively by shifting our perspective. We aren't always able to transform what we're going through, but we can revise the way we approach it.

If you can’t change your circumstances, you’ll need to change your attitude if you want to survive.

A Different Approach

Our temperatures have recently changed in Milledgeville as summer starts to slowly slip onto our horizon. While we still have pleasantly cool mornings, the afternoons are starting to quickly warm up. It takes a bit more daily preparation as temperature and humidity adjust upward by the end of the day. As a runner, that creates two vastly different running experiences between morning and evening.

I ran one evening this past week and was quickly reminded of the differences in running in warmer weather. The coolness of winter and spring had spoiled me and I had to make some mid-run adjustments to keep going. I found myself thinking about all of the changes I would need to make for summer running to keep healthy and maintain a good pace. If I want to keep doing well in hot weather, I can't keep doing the exact same things I did when it was cool

How often do we approach changing circumstances with the same solution we've already been using? Even if we've been successful in the past, there's no guarantee we will be able to keep pushing ahead by doing the same thing. We've got to learn to evaluate the issues we're presently dealing with and figure out what is going to work best moving ahead.

If we aren't willing (or able) to adapt, we'll end up frustrated with our lack of progress.

Just Relax

In some seasons life is just harder than others. The schedule is demanding, obstacles to progress keep coming up, and events occur that knock you off your feet. Even when you try to maintain a proper balance and keep moving forward, it becomes too difficult to achieve. As you reel from the impact of tough life circumstances it even becomes difficult to express what you think and feel. Putting the words together to describe what's happening internally just doesn't seem possible. Not being able to articulate your emotions and thoughts becomes frustrating.

I don't have an astounding answer for how to cope in these seasons. I only know that rest and peace are possible in God. He doesn't always choose to explain everything in grand detail to us, but He does promise we can find comfort in His presence. When events seem to stack up to the point of tipping over, the idea of safety and rest can be enough to carry us through.

An Act of Control

I ran 5 miles today. I hesitate to share since it feels like boasting. It's simply a statement of what I did at the end of my day. I planned this run earlier in the week knowing I would need it. In fact, I looked forward to it all day long.

There are many, many things I cannot control. Even with detailed planning, intentional goals, careful thought, and dedicated prayers there will be unpredictable events. This really isn't new information for me, but there are some seasons in life where it seems more evident than others. I don't have any easy answers to this dilemma but to schedule some things I can control, like a run.

We won't always know what we are going to encounter and or be able to change everything we will deal with. We can find some balance by doing some intentional things that help us stay grounded even if it's only in something small.

No Regrets?

It's common to hear people say they want to live a life of no regrets. This is usually fueled by the idea of taking risks and not wanting to lament missed opportunities later in life. The underlying philosophy is that anything from our past has only helped to make us who we are today. Even if things don't end up as planned, it was still a risk worth taking.

The trials and tough circumstances of my life have certainly helped to shape me into the man I have become. Even though it is true that doesn't mean I live without regrets. There are many decisions I have made I wish I could take back. There have been words spoken carelessly and hurtfully, actions committed without thought of impact and repercussion, and attitudes which have permanently damaged relationships. Just because I have managed to overcome some of these doesn't mean I don't regret those decisions.

Maybe the healthiest approach to this kind of life is to make sure I don't choose to do something that will bring regrets--either from missing out on opportunities or causing pain to people around me. It can be an admirable life focus as long as it's not used as an excuse for poor decision making.

What Defines Me?

My calling is to be a pastor, but is that truly who I am? I am a husband, father, son, brother, and friend, but do those relationships define me entirely? I am here today as a sum of my past experiences (delightful, awful, and mundane) and my reactions to those experiences, but do those additive moments fully describe me? They are all part of my mental, emotional, and spiritual development regardless of how well or how poorly I have chosen to act in the past.

I am more than I appear to be. I know this because of my confidence in Christ which gives me hope beyond my current circumstances. Even armed with this knowledge I still struggle to find my place and my way in this life. How much more do those without that some confidence battle to discover their true identity? It can only be completely found in one place. Anything less is a poor substitute that leaves us confused and desperately searching for the real truth.

Calm Yourself

Anytime an athlete I was working with was injured and panicking, my first priority was to get them to calm down so I could assess the situation. I would ask them to close their eyes, breathe in slowly through their nose, and then breathe out their mouth. This simple act of regulated respiration would help them to focus and find peace in the middle of their pain.

This meditative exercise is helpful even when the stress we are feeling isn't physical. Our circumstances can threaten to overwhelm us and we might feel that things are spiralling out of control. It's in these moments that we need a reminder to slow down our breathing and find a place of peace. A worship song by Matt Redman poetically describes how God wants to help us in these times. The lyrics simply say, "I'm breathing in Your grace and breathing out Your praise." That is exactly the reminder we all need when we feel harassed and helpless.

One Up

It's not easy to write about an unhealthy communication trap that I am often guilty of falling into. It's much easier just to notice it in other people and be irritated with their habit than to do something about it myself. However, I truly believe it is a common practice that is detrimental to developing genuinely compassionate community. It's the relationship-killing practice of "one-upping."

This is commonly seen when someone shares a story of how difficult things are in their life and we feel the need to top their tale with our own. It quickly becomes a contest to see who can elevate their level of woe above the other. No matter how difficult a present life circumstance might be, we can swing the attention back to ourselves and diminish the other person in just a few sentences. This is not meant to include genuine stories of compassion for the sake of encouragement and reminding people that they are not alone. Sadly, those positive story-tellings are often the exception instead of the norm.

Why do we feel the need to "one-up" somebody? Is it a selfish desire to minimize someones experience and life trials by making our circumstances much worse? Without always recognizing it are we finding ourselves caught in a constant need for inflating our own ego?

Why can't we simply empathize with that person without having to tell our "greater" story? Even if we are wounded from the pain of our own decisions, would it hurt us to focus on the person in front of us? Imagine the difference in our families, workplaces, and community if we cared for the immediate needs of people without having to win the game of "who's situation is worse." Genuine compassion doesn't redirect attention back to ourselves.

Or Not

When circumstances are difficult and tension is mounting many people respond with the answer, "everything will work itself out" and "everything will be fine." While these are meant to bring us comfort in trying times and even deliver some hope, they aren't necessarily true. Things might work out to our liking and ease the tension we are feeling OR they won't. The question is: what will we do when things don't work out? Will we abandon our faith? Will we look for someone to blame for the lack of satisfaction? Will we spiral downwards into depression, guilt, and anger?

The truth is that sometimes things will get better OR they won't. We might be able to influence part of what happens, but we are really only able to completely control our reactions. I'm not sure that accepting this truth automatically brings peace. Hopefully we'll learn through repeated trials that our response to good and bad outcomes is the key to our faith development and personal maturity.

Give Me a Reason

The expression that I have heard quoted in tough times is, "Everything happens for a reason." I agree 100% with that statement. Unfortunately for us, many times the reason something is happening to us is because we made a stupid choice. We are the ones who didn't think things through, didn't anticipate the results of our decisions, or we took a path regardless of the consequences. There are other times when our lives are affected by the stupid choices of others. We become their collateral damage from self-centered, poor decisions. Even in these circumstances I think we want to believe that there is an underlying reason behind it all. We want to believe that someone more powerful than us is orchestrating things around us and working through our poor decision making and apparently random life events.

I think what we are actually looking for is a spark of hope. We want to know that a good God is able to
work through all of our circumstances and lead us to something better. When we're struggling with things that are completely beyond our control and influence (economy tanking, disastrous diagnosis, unexpected death) we want to know that God is still loving and caring. We want to know that He is working all around us for our betterment. We need to grasp tightly onto the offer of a glimmer of hope when it seems all hope is gone. If we can believe that there is a greater purpose for us we are able to withstand the difficulty of the present and anticipate the future. We are hoping that at some point things will make sense because if that isn't an option we aren't sure we can keep going.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who 

love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Dictatorship

That's a nasty word that is never really used in a positive statement. We rebel against the idea of someone in authority over us in this fashion as it speaks of repression & suppression. Even though we don't like the concept we practice it daily in our personal lives when we allow our circumstances to dictate our emotions and perspectives. 

What if we switched our thinking and started to dictate our response ahead of time? What if we decided to authoritatively choose to act with grace, patience, and stability regardless of the events of the day and the actions of the people around us? It's the principle of resolving what kind of person we want to be and acting like it whether things go the way we think they should or not. We're in charge and we should choose now what we'll do and it will come naturally in the middle of the moment.

Quick Change

On the surface most of us don't have a lot of reasons to be joyful. Finances are tight, jobs are uncertain, self-esteem is shaky, our parenting is inadequate, our health is unstable, and our future is cloudy. We can find more things to complain about (ie. government, church, community) than we can find to be encouraged by. If you observe our history you see that things really haven't changed. There has always been inequity, oppression, stupidity, selfishness, turmoil, and illness littered throughout the lives that have come before us. What has made us believe that things should be different for us?

Circumstances may not change, but our reaction to them certainly can. We have the opportunity to wallow in bitterness or ask God to transform our attitude. When have I allowed God to turn my sorrow into joy? When have I allowed Him to change my perspective on my circumstances so that I might see Him at work? When have any of us shifted the weight of our present status so that it no longer burdens us, but becomes light as we experience His deliverance? Our confidence and hope must be centered in a King that has shown His benevolent and merciful character to us throughout history. Our confidence in His great unchanging love is the key to the change of heart necessary for us to be joyful when it seems to make no sense. 

Greater Than: God > life

Life is not always fair. This may be a reflection of circumstances beyond our control, the choices we have made or the things that have been done to us. We may feel trapped by this inequity and start to believe that there isn't a way out. 

This defeatist attitude doesn't reflect the life God created us to live and it ignores His ability to overcome the obstacles in front of us. To find freedom and healing we have to begin with our admission of His greatness over us & then take the next step and believe that He is greater than anything we face in life. This understanding is part of God's great plan to restore our broken hearts and set us free from captivity. How comforting is it to recognize that no part of our life holds power over God? In this freedom we will find the strength to stand tall and lift up our eyes to the King who calls us His children.

Clinging to Hope

It seems that there is an abundance of bad news and a scarcity of good news lately. The evidence is seen in the aftermath of tornadic devastation in Oklahoma to the young man that was gunned down in Milledgeville this weekend. Each day that passes delivers another story of marital infidelity, drug addiction, sex trafficking, bullying, and severe depression leading to cutting and suicide. It can be enough to completely overwhelm you and lead you to believe there is no hope for society.

I will readily admit that I don't have all the answers. I can't explain why some people are cured from cancer and others are not. I don't know why some relationships are mended and others irrevocably broken. I am unable to rationally explain why one home will be destroyed in a storm and another one is spared. The only real answer that I can give is the one that brings me hope and peace when it makes no sense to have either. My God is still good in spite of all that we see and experience. He is still King over all, He remains sovereign, and He will work all things out for the good of those who love Him. Even though it may seem foolishness to some, I will place my trust in Him and continue to seek His peace that passes all understanding. 

Some days that's exactly what you need to move forward with strength and confidence. 

Working Out

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, 

who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

 

I've used this verse as a helpful crutch for myself and for fellow sojourners who are struggling through difficult times. It brings hope to God's people as we learn to trust in His power to create good things out of bad things. I was meditating on that verse this morning and focused on the deeper implications. It's not that God just wants to make our situation good--He is working through these circumstances to make  us good. He is constantly striving to reshape our character and to make it stronger in His perfect image. This isn't just a show of His power to transform the current status of our life into something better. It's His most powerful work of all--the molding of imperfect people into brand new reflections of His perfection. That's the perfect and complete goodness we are longing for in all circumstances. 

Smells Like Horseradish

Dr. Howard Moskowitz said,  "To a worm in horseradish, the whole world is horseradish."

Hearing the good doctor's quote reminded me that it is easy for us to become so focused on our circumstances that we fail to see what else is happening in the world around us. We miss out on what God might be trying to tell us because we are weighed down with our present status. The sound, sight, smell & touch of day-to-day can threaten to overwhelm the hope that we are intended to see through God's promises. When you are convinced you are trapped in the horseradish and you feel that you might drown in it, your perspective can make it almost impossible to sense anything else.

The emancipating truth is that God is still God even if life as we know it isn't flowing how we imagined. He is still the sovereign King who waits for His people to cry out for His saving grace once we recognize our desperate need. Even the stench of our current predicaments will disappear with the sweet fragrance of majestic rescue.

Circumstantial Living

It is easy to let the circumstances of life dictate your emotional and spiritual health. When things are going well we get along with people, we feel close and connected with God, and there is stability in our emotions. When the status quo changes however, we no longer exhibit the same even temperament and our confidence in God and His relationship with us dwindles. It can be quite frustrating especially when you realize that you are allowing your current circumstances to define your mood and mindset.

That is not the desire that God has for any of us. He doesn't want our overall health to fluctuate based on the temporary nature of our current situation. He knows that a truly fulfilled life with the right perspective is based in Him and our belief in His ability to provide for us in ways we cannot see. A person with their roots in God will live with quiet confidence in the King's power to guide His people.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."