Becoming Clear

"Muddy water becomes clear if you only let it be still for a while.” Dallas Willard

Have you ever faced a confusing or difficult situation and jumped into action only to make it worse? Our desire to make things right or to force an outcome leads us to stir things up when the better choice might be to let them settle instead. 

Part of my natural reaction is to want to fix things. When I see something out of alignment I want to make it right. I don’t think this is a terrible trait, but I have discovered (often the hard way) that making decisions and taking action before things are clear doesn’t always end well. My eagerness has often led me to moving prematurely before fully understanding what’s really happening.

Over the last decade I’ve learned to pause before jumping into situations and asserting myself. As a person of action that hasn’t been an easy habit to develop but has been honed through many difficult life lessons. This is something each of us can develop if we are committed to change. Over time we can then make the conscious decision to pause, take a deep breath, and carefully examine the situation before deciding what to do.

The habit of patient contemplation is often underrated. Allow yourself time and space to think when things are overwhelming and you are unsure. Learning to be still in our thoughts and actions makes the next step more clear.

Over and Over Again

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." 

Will Durant (paraphrasing Aristotle)

What do we find ourselves repeatedly doing? Are they good habits leading us to future growth and maturity?  Are they negative thoughts and actions that keep us caught in cyclical patterns of frustration and apathy?

The start of a new year gives each of us an opportunity to set new goals and think about new desires for the next season. Establishing the right habits to reinforce those desires will give us the foundation to be successful. To be excellent we should look carefully at the habits we've established and start to create new ones to lead us in the right direction.

Out of Practice

There are good habits we build into our lives that don't always endure. Any number of factors can crowd that established behavior out of our schedule including those in and out of our control. I feel that way about writing for this blog. I went through a period of nearly three years where I wrote a daily entry and committed to creating content intended to help people. In the last twelve months, however, that dedication has wavered due to a crowded schedule, personal choices, and even writer's block. Even though I haven't been able to place the emphasis on writing I once did, it's something I want to add back into my regular routine.

We can learn to reestablish habits if they really matter to us. Even if we have started and stopped multiple times, it is possible to relearn the rhythm that once came naturally. It takes a focused desire to follow through, a willingness to set aside the time to make it happen, and some level of accountability. The decision to create and maintain these habits is up to each of us and the value we place on them.

Press On

I was talking with a friend of mine over coffee this morning about the habits in our lives. We are both runners and push each other to keep putting in miles and improving our fitness. We also encourage each other in our spiritual life and the pursuit of things that are eternal. There are enjoyable parts of each of these areas of our life even though we readily admit our struggles in consistency of effort and success.

I was sharing how I had run in Arizona last week on our mission trip and how difficult it was at an elevation of 6500 feet above sea level. On one of my running days out there, there was also a headwind of 25-45 miles per hour. Needless to say, it wasn't one of my best days on the road, but I persevered and finished anyway.

The realization hit us both that this isn't too different from our spiritual focus. There are times when everything we do seems to come easy. Understanding Scripture almost seems second nature, our prayers are focused and powerful, and even meditation is extremely fruitful. There are also times when it seems as if I am reading the Bible in a language I've never seen before, I can't keep a prayer focused for ten seconds, and any attempt to meditate is quickly squashed by my own energy.

I don't stop running when I have a difficult day(s) on the roads, but I push through and then get ready for the next one with an anticipation of it being better. I'm learning to do the same thing with my spiritual practices. Even though I may get frustrated with what I feel is a lack of progress, I push through and get ready for the next day with the anticipation of it being better. It may not radically improve in one day, but I believe it will happen if I keep working on it without giving up too soon.

One at a Time

Athletes who are battling through chronic injuries are often classified as being "day-to-day" with their health. It's a way of defining the fluidity of healing while recognizing some days are better than others on the road to recovery.

While I understand the mentality behind that phrase, isn't that a fair description of us all? Our relationships, overall health, and self confidence all vary somewhat on a daily basis. Hopefully, we are building positive habits that will bring overall improvement.

Maintaining a day-by-day attitude helps us stay focused on continuing to do the good things that have led us in a positive direction.

Keep Doing It

For years I would play a game with my weight loss and gain. I would commit to a healthier pattern of eating until I lost enough weight to feel better about myself. Shortly after my pants got a little loose I would revert to old behaviors and forget about the good things that brought about change. Naturally, this cycle would continue to repeat itself over the years. It's funny to look back and see how quickly I would shift from eating a salad to dipping my Oreo cookies in bacon grease for a snack. This created a toxic cycle of moving from moderately decent decisions to old practices and back again.

This isn't just true of our dietary habits unfortunately. There are times when we commit to new ways of engaging in our relationships, transforming our thinking, or processing stress through constructive behaviors. Once those new practices start to deliver mild improvement we often start to ease up and forget to keep doing the positive things that brought change to begin with. We either think we've got the old habits completely under control or we just get lazy. Before we often realize it we are right back in those old haunting choices that led us down a path of destruction. We've stopped doing the right thing and have slipped into negative routines like putting on a well-worn pair of shoes.

The key to continued forward momentum is to keep doing the new, right things even if we think we've got it under control. That might mean eating salad for a little bit longer than we would like, but the long-term changes are worth the commitment to better living.

Inching Forward

Sticking to the commitment to making changes in our life isn't always an easy decision. The early days of new behaviors are tough as we retrain our mind and body to behave differently. Our old habits threaten to overtake our new desires and we can become discouraged by the difficulty of this change. There are different studies that suggest it takes 21 days for a new habit to take effect, but I've also seen some that suggest it is closer to 66 days before something is ingrained. I think the exact number might be different for each of us, but there is one common element that helps us keep going--seeing positive results.

When we start to see even small, incremental progress from our new behaviors this encourages us to stay on this new track. Our relationships might start to improve because we've committed to approaching things with a more peaceful attitude. A new runner is able to run for 1/2 mile when that wasn't a possibility before. Changes in muscle tone become more evident after struggling to complete repetitions. Kicking a smoking habit is a bit easier when the cravings start to lessen even if they haven't disappeared completely.

Positive progress makes us aware that what we are doing is working. We all need forward momentum or we'll get discouraged and quit before we can create new, healthier habits.

Make It Happen

I'm on a quick 48 hour trip with my girls to see my family in Florida at the end of this week. We packed small overnight bags since we'll be back home tomorrow. I did increase my luggage slightly by bringing some running gear however. Thursday is a regular run day for me and I wasn't willing to let it go by without getting in some miles.

I realized there are some things we are all unwilling to forgo. Can we clearly identify those habits and behaviors we want to hold on to? Are they healthy enough to keep? How will we prepare to make sure we can accomplish them? We might believe there are non-negotiable practices, but we will need to prep to make it an actionable reality.

Tending To It

The idea of being consistently thankful has great merit. We tend to focus more on it during the holidays than others although I honestly don't know many people that are only thankful on Thanksgiving either. I do know I have a better perspective on my life when I maintain an attitude of gratitude through positive and negative circumstances.

This doesn't happen automatically however. I can't just write a blog post about being thankful and hope it carries over. Much like planting a garden the key to maintaining a positive attitude is in my willingness to cultivate it. I have to break up the hard soil of negativity, entitlement, and complacency to prepare to be thankful. I have to establish the daily discipline of removing the weeds of dissatisfaction and cynicism to give it room to grow. Then there is the careful nourishing of grateful thoughts and prayers which gives that habit encouragement to grow.

I won't live a more grateful life just because I think it's a good idea. This is something I must work to maintain if it is going to become a healthy part of my lifestyle.

Portwood Unplugged

I have been consistently writing my blog for close to three years now and until we went on vacation I had been writing every day. This wasn't always easy to do and there were some days I struggled to put together decent content and go through the process of writing. My wife encouraged me to take a break, but I resisted because I didn't want to stop the streak I had started. I had planned to set up blogs to post while I was on vacation, but time got away from me and I didn't get that done. I had a difficult time letting that stretch of daily content go, but came to realize it was better for me in the long run.

I want to continue to write helpful content and I also recognize that sometimes it's best to take a short break. This gives me a chance to be reenergized and refreshed and will hopefully lead me to tackle writing with new enthusiasm. Choosing to step away and unplug is a good choice for a lot of things we do: work, hobbies, and even exercise. The brief time away can actually be better than continuing to doggedly push forward hoping to maintain a streak of habit.

Digging Deep

I helped to remove a palm tree from my grandfather’s house many years ago. The tree had been cut down, but the root was still there. It kept sprouting and my grandparents wanted it removed. I didn’t think it would take too long since it only had 4-5 inches of green growth above ground. It quickly became apparent this was a bigger task than I originally thought. The roots were much deeper than I anticipated and had spread out in a 5 foot circumference. It was a task that took a lot of sweat, energy, and more than a little frustration before I finished.

Changing our thinking can be equally as challenging. Once we have established a perception or a pattern it’s difficult to alter it. We might believe it’s easily remedied, but without extra effort we won’t completely eradicate negative habits. Are we willing to dig deep to discover the root of our thinking? Will we put in the extra effort to remove negative thoughts and patterns? It is a process of growth which requires consistent effort, but it’s essential if we want to have a healthier mind and spirit.

Work It

The NBA Finals started last night (non-sports fan readers-don't tune out just yet!) and the Warriors came back to win the Game 1 after being down by double digits. When asked about the comeback in a post game interview, their leading player pointed to their commitment to their system. He said they believed in what they had done all year to get here and didn't panic. They were able to maintain focus on the important things through adversity and do what had proven to be successful.

I would like to keep the same focus in my personal life. There are many good practices which have led me to this phase of life. These are physical, spiritual, relational, mental, and emotional habits which are part of my life system. While I need to be ready to adapt and make modifications as I grow, I can't neglect the important steps that have led me to this point. When I feel as if I am losing, I need to stay focused on healthy habits and keep doing what is right.

Experienced?

If we want today to be a different experience than a year ago we have to change something in us. We either adopt lasting habits, learn new skills, take some risks, or choose to react in different ways to our environment. It's the changes we make each year that create unique experiences for us. If we are unwilling to engage in something new, we shouldn't expect to see something we haven't already seen.

Doing the exact same thing for 20 years doesn't give us 20 years of experience. It gives us one year of experience repeated 20 times.

Farther Along

I keep learning tough life lessons as I work at developing the habit of running. Today was another difficult moment as I barely eked out two miles of running before having to call it quits. This comes on the heels of a week where I hit five miles for the first time ever and followed it up with a good pace on another eight combined miles over two days. I know that there will be up and down days in this relatively new lifestyle, but I find myself a little discouraged because I think I should be farther along than I currently am. I've got to keep reminding myself that I've only been running distances for two months and that I can't expect large, consistent leaps on the journey.

This accurately describes many areas of my life. I make changes, work to develop new habits, and expect to see the results quickly. My impatience can often lead to frustration as I have told myself, "I'm doing the right things and I should be seeing results!" I've got to remember that the process of adaptation and transformation take time. Growth happens not just by doing what is right, but in the maturity found on the journey.

Patterns Matter

We learn new skills more quickly if we can figure out a repetitive pattern. The familiarity we find in the rhythm of something new helps us remember how to perform that task correctly. This works really well for athletic skills, but also helps us in developing new habits. In fact, I believe we can even help ourselves mature by examining patterns that already exist in our life:

• Moments in life when you are most receptive to God's lessons
• Times when you have experienced the most positive growth
• Areas of negative choices that need to be avoided
• The various people we associate with & our behavior in that company
• Places we frequent & our actions based on that environment
• Our response to changing circumstances

Understanding our existing behavioral rhythms will help us see the need for continuing positive patterns as well as establishing new, healthier ones.

Get/Got

Forming new habits isn't easy, but developing new, healthy patterns is the only way to grow. These new rhythms of thinking and behavior help us maintain focus on our goals while giving us the strength to keep pushing forward. They end up helping us continue to do what is right even when our will power is weak and our rationalizations for abandonment are strong. They shift our emphasis from something that we've "got" to do to something that we "get" to do. That is the moment that we find pleasure in sticking to our transformed lifestyle and want to do whatever it takes to see it continue.

What new habits are you developing that will eventually become a positive engagement instead of dreary discipline?

Changing Time

Habits eat willpower for breakfast.   John Ortberg

I am tired of starting and stopping things. I tend to get fired up about changing my health (in all areas) then end up falling short of my intended goal and giving up. It's a frustrating problem of running out of willpower when I tend to need it the most.

The truth is that my willpower is a limited commodity and I can't rely on it alone to make the difference in my lifestyle. While there are times when I need to be resilient, I also need to learn new ways of living. It requires a rewiring of my brain to swap out old habits for new ones. Writing these words is obviously much easier than fulfilling them, but I believe that consistency and a "one-day-at-a-time" focus will bring the change that I'm so desperate to see. Realizing that I can't will myself to be better, but must develop new patterns of thought and behavior is actually a relief even if it seems that it will take longer to become a reality.

Generous Spirit

"If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it." Stephen Colbert



It seems to be natural inclination to look to be a benefit to people during the holidays. This isn't a negative thing, but I am certain we are called to be a blessing on a more consistent basis. It should be a reflection of our regular life mission to seek ways to share what we have with the people around us. I don't believe it's a burden-in fact, I haven't met anyone who regretted making this a regular practice. We simply choose to make a habit and then daily look for ways to make it a reality. It's the life of generosity that is capable of creating change in the community around us even if the scope of our impact doesn't seem that large.

Hit the Brakes

As I sit here on my front porch pondering my daily blog (too many ideas flowing at once) I watched

as a car rolled through the corner stop sign without even touching their brakes. It isn't the first time I've watched cars do this at this supposed "four-way stop." Some of them at least put up a pretense by tapping their brakes while others blatantly ignore the sign and speed through it. I recognize that it's against the law, but my anal-retentive personality won't let me do that in spite of the law. I wish that I could say my diligence in "stopping" was as easy in other areas of my life.

There is value in knowing when to stop-whether it's a break to rest our minds & bodies or the desperate need to cease some habit or activity that's about to cause great damage. I think that we instinctively know when we should, but when we ignore that signal long enough we have a stop sign thrown up in our lives to caution us about what's ahead. You might avoid damage and detection for a while as you keep blowing through this warning, but eventually you'll get caught or cause damage to yourself and others around you. 

We show more wisdom when we slow down and come to a full and complete halt than when we think we are foolishly courageous enough to keep going without causing collateral & personal damage.

Don't Wanna

Some days there are things that I just don't want to do. That is probably not a revelation, but is more of a statement that we can all identify with. We don't want to go to work, don't want to respond courteously when we have been treated rudely, don't want to be patient as we wait in lines, don't want to work out or eat  right, and don't want to have confrontations with anyone. There are probably more things in a day that we don't want to do than those that we are eager to attack.

Benefit is found in the discipline of doing the right thing anyway. Getting up earlier than your body desires so you can read the Word and spend some focused time in prayer, getting on the exercise bike even though you want to sleep on the couch, and responding with genuine interest to someones recap of their day are all examples of developing the right disciplines. They help you form habits that overcome the lack of desire we often feel for doing the right thing even when it's difficult to muster the appropriate enthusiasm. There is a payoff that makes it worthwhile and the immediate satisfaction of completion is more desirable than the regret from doing nothing.