A Better Story

There are some very entertaining viral videos by a guy who walks up to random people and says, "Story Time!" and then proceeds to make up a sentence or two about them. They are quite hilarious and always catch these strangers off guard with his creativity. In most of the videos, the people who are part of his story quickly engage in his humor and make the situation even funnier. They play their role in this made-up story because they are actively engaged in its telling and he doesn't portray them in a hurtful light.

Made-up stories don't always work out so well, however, especially when we invent them in our minds. We are all capable of writing a terrible mental story about other people and the conflicts we face. I'll admit I've even had arguments without ever speaking to someone I'm in conflict with. Instead, I have a very one-sided internal dialogue that doesn't usually go well. I'll mentally script out an encounter, expect the worst possible response, and end up making the situation more negative without speaking a word out loud.

As a story teller, I can fall into this unhealthy practice pretty quickly if I don't pay attention. It's caused relationship damage in my life and I've had to learn to recognize when I start down this very slippery slope. Even though I don't always combat it perfectly, I've learned one simple phrase that helps me keep from writing these stories in my mind. When I feel I am drifting into a dangerous practice I tell myself, "Believe the best." This puts other people in a positive light and reminds me to have an honest face-to-face conversation without making up a mental story that isn't going to help anyone.

Digging Deep

I helped to remove a palm tree from my grandfather’s house many years ago. The tree had been cut down, but the root was still there. It kept sprouting and my grandparents wanted it removed. I didn’t think it would take too long since it only had 4-5 inches of green growth above ground. It quickly became apparent this was a bigger task than I originally thought. The roots were much deeper than I anticipated and had spread out in a 5 foot circumference. It was a task that took a lot of sweat, energy, and more than a little frustration before I finished.

Changing our thinking can be equally as challenging. Once we have established a perception or a pattern it’s difficult to alter it. We might believe it’s easily remedied, but without extra effort we won’t completely eradicate negative habits. Are we willing to dig deep to discover the root of our thinking? Will we put in the extra effort to remove negative thoughts and patterns? It is a process of growth which requires consistent effort, but it’s essential if we want to have a healthier mind and spirit.

Looking

There is a common saying that almost seems too simplistic to be true: "You will find what you look for." It's accurate because our genuine search shapes our perspective and our sense of expectancy. No matter whether we look for positive or negative things we can be sure to find them. Being armed with that knowledge should help us to seek the right things & with the proper motivation.

At the End of the Day

How do you know if you had a good day? Is it all about your emotional state as you lay your head on your pillow? Is it about the number of things you checked off on your to-do list? Perhaps it's the accomplishment of goals and a feeling of success. Do we fall victim to the lie that one bad moment causes the entire day to be bad?

The encouraging news is that we get to decide what makes it a good day. We are the ones assigning value as we determine how things are going. Maybe we should look for a positive moment and let that define the day instead of hanging on to the negative. It may not alter every part of our reality, but it will definitely alter our perception of it.

Avoid the Negative

I wrote yesterday about a quote by Kevin G. Harney ("Small shifts in our thinking can redefine the way the way we live.") and how that can be a step of positive growth. After I finished writing, I realized how that can also negatively impact us if our thoughts shift in a darker direction. 

If we allow our thinking to start down a negative pathway it will create a harmful change in our self-perception, invent a rift between people close to us, and limit our ability to grow. This is a potential hazard for all of us and we have to develop the awareness to keep us from this slippery slope of destructive meditation. Over time (and through experience) we learn to set up mental alarms that awaken us to the negative drift. We can also humble ourselves enough to give key people the freedom to speak into our lives to help redirect. Developing these protective measures will ensure that our shifts in thinking are more positively influenced instead of the alternative. 

Negative & Positive

It's a given fact for responsible adults that we must do some things that are not always pleasant or enjoyable.

It can be simple daily tasks like taking out the trash, dealing with a long drive to work, or a part of a job that is difficult to endure. Those unpleasant tasks can even be centered around monthly obligations like paying bills and other mundane household chores. The distaste we have for these duties doesn't change the need for these to be completed or the consequences may be unpleasant. While mature discipline is part of the solution, I have found that we have to create a balance by adding things that we do relish to our daily schedule. It's an important benefit to our overall health to add encouraging tasks to our daily regimen.

• What did you do today that you enjoy? 
• What did you do that brings you a sense of satisfaction? 
• What were you able to complete that delivers a sense of accomplishment and gives you encouragement for tomorrow? 

It's vital that we find something that positively answers those questions so that we have the strength for the things that we find less than satisfying.