Losing

What do I have to lose?

We often ask this question when we are thinking about taking a risk. We ask it in a passing fashion without really stopping to answer the question, but cursorily dismissing the possible risks and simply forging ahead. I'm not opposed to risk taking (in fact, it's the only way to see truly great things happen) but there is wisdom in stopping to ask what we could potentially lose with this choice. Are we really taking a leap of faith that will bring growth & benefit or are we simply pursuing selfish ambition & satisfaction?

With some decisions, we can lose everything that matters to us:

• Financial stability
• Our marriages
• The respect of our children
• Trust
• Confidence in our faith
• The right to speak with wisdom
• The right to lead

Be wise in your decision-making. Don't let people influence you who don't have the same things to lose that you do. Make sure that God is the one guiding you to take a risk of faith. Understand that there will be consequences for all decisions (both good and bad) and be sure you're ready to face them as a result of your choice. Know what it is that you have to lose & make the right move before taking the leap. 

Showing Compassion

I've got a good friend who tells people that he doesn't have the gift of mercy. Since I have seen him in multiple interactions with people, I can attest to the fact that he is indeed a very compassionate person and cares deeply for others. The real truth is that he doesn't have patience for foolish people who are unwilling to change.

I believe that it's vital for us to show compassion to people around us in need. We should eagerly seek to bring blessing when God gives us the opportunity to extend a helping hand. I believe in giving people multiple chances because after all, isn't that what God does for each of us? I also believe that God doesn't want us to blindly tolerate foolishness. We have to have the wisdom to recognize when the time is right to change our approach and make the best use of what we have. Foolishness never decreases the amount of compassion that we have for people, but it does call us to be judicious in how we approach helping them. The desire for extending God's kindness doesn't change, but there are times when the methods by which we provide help need to be adjusted.

Being willing to take a "tough love" approach might actually be a greater act of compassion than it appears to be on the surface. 

Pleasing People

I was driving to Macon today and listening to the Bengals vs. Chargers football playoff game on the radio. In a span of five minutes there were two plays that had to be reviewed by instant replay. One of them was in favor of the hometown Bengals while the other was for their opponent. Even through the radio, I could hear the two different reactions from the crowd. They cheered loudly when the outcome benefitted them and quickly rained down boos when it went against them. Their reaction didn't change the referee's decision, but he simply stated the outcome and moved on.

When you are a leader there will be times when your decisions are well received and others when it is less than popular. The key to great leadership is to be consistent in adhering to the vision and not wavering based solely on people's reactions. Not every decision you make will be met with cheers, but that doesn't change a leader's responsibility to make the best choice with integrity. Being consumed with people pleasing leaves very little time for vision and growth. A healthy leader will always be concerned with the people they are leading, but their focus will always be on making the right decision even if it isn't well received.

Left Behind

I have vivid memories of being chosen last as an elementary kid in all team sports. I was a geeky, poorly dressed, nonathletic child who didn't stumble into athleticism until I was older. I don't know that anyone was being intentionally cruel, but it is still unpleasant when you are the one the last team is stuck with. It quickly diminishes your self-esteem and deflates your enthusiasm for being involved.

Much like many other childhood experiences,  the effects of this can be noticed in adulthood. The damaged perceptions from seemingly innocuous events will carry over into the rest of life even if we don't recognize the root of the damage. The effects of my own experiences could steer me in one of two disastrous directions: resigning myself to being left out and falsely believing that I am a person without value or worth or working so hard to overcome this that my personality becomes a huge monster that damages anyone in the vicinity. Sadly, through my own choices I've seen both of these in action. The good news is that God's version of our story doesn't end here.

I am ridiculously grateful that when God redeems and restores us it's not just from our own sinful choices, but also from our brokenness. He is ready to overcome emotional scarring and let us see the great value we have in His eyes. God didn't "settle" for us, but chose us first. There was no obligation on His part, but only genuine love for His creation. Grasping that truth is enough to overcome any event in our past. Repeat this mantra of healing often and allow it to rewrite God's promises over the story of our broken woundedness.

Visual Aid

As I continue to refine my thoughts on the man that I want to be at the end of this year I am doing a lot of writing. I find that writing helps me to clarify my thoughts and flesh out the details of what I am pursuing. Throughout the year I can refer back to these written objectives, refine them as needed, and mark my progress. The visual of this is important for me to maintain focus and momentum.

I believe this is important for all true change. We need to be able to articulate the vision for our future and then have it readily accessible to us. This picture of our preferred future will encourage us to see our small steps of success and serve as an impetus to stay focused when we struggle to keep moving forward. The visual reminder is key to experiencing lasting transformation.

Newness

A new year holds the promise of doing things differently. It speaks of the potential of being someone different and not being held captive by old patterns of thought and behavior. It is the anticipation of an unwritten story that we have the opportunity to craft out of our discipline and desires. It offers hope that we won't have to marked by the past year, but can change that nature of our character through God's divine power.

It's the idea of a new beginning that is so attractive to each of us. Will we trust God enough in 2014 to see it become a reality? Will we seek the vision of a preferred future and match it with daily decision making and perseverance so it comes to fruition? Will we trust that God's definition of "new" is richer than our own?

We won't be transformed at the end of this year if we only talk about it or write it down. Start with crafting the vision for improvement, develop a plan for action, pray diligently as if it will only happen through God's power, and work as if the outcome depends on you.

Surrender to Win

I am still processing all that I want to accomplish and how I want to grow in 2014. I know that there are others in this same position of seeking positive change & establishing new habits. I am also woefully aware of my past failings in this arena and want to make sure that I don't fall short again this year. As I meditate on what I hope to see take place, I realize that my best chance of success actually comes from my willingness to surrender. I don't mean that I should give up, but that I should surrender myself to God's will, direction, and power. It's in my desire to cede control to Him that I can truly be able to find the consistent success that I am searching for. This doesn't mean that I will sit back and do nothing to work towards my objectives, but that it will be fueled by the Perfect One who never changes.

I offer this simple prayer below as a help to me (and others) in an effort to surrender:

Lord Jesus, I need You in my life now more than I ever have. I have very little joy, peace, and passion in my life. I confess that I have been trying to have the best of both worlds, that I have been double minded, and that I have been seeking the God I have wanted and not the God who is. I am so sorry, and I repent. Please forgive me. Thank You for loving me so much that You would die for all my sins so that I can have eternal life. Make me into the kind of man I've been striving to be. Make me into the man I know that I can be with the power of Your Holy Spirit. Create the change in me that needs to take place so that I can commit my life completely to You. I pray this in Your name, Jesus, and for Your glory. Amen.*

*This prayer is adapted from Patrick Morley's book, How God Makes Men.