What We Want

Our society is structured mostly for us to consume. Products are created, services are marketed, experiences are designed, and innovations are intentionally developed to satisfy the needs of the consumer. A consumeristic attitude is focused on the quality of what we receive and gives our wants permission to drive our actions. When we don't like something the responsibility falls on the provider to make things right or we'll take our attention (and resources) elsewhere.

This may be the basis of a capitalistic society, but it doesn't necessarily translate well to other areas of our life. A self-centered focus doesn't create positive change in our community, help our relationships mature, or encourage others to grow. We've got to actively engage in being part of the change we want to see. If we want things to be better, we've got to become contributors and not just be consumers.

Consumers point out problems. Contributors are part of the solution.

Start with Simple

My car is a 1993 Volvo 240 that was graciously given to me by my mother-in-law several years ago. It is slowly beginning to fall apart even though the engine itself is in decent shape. My odometer stopped working a couple of years ago, the radio cut out last winter, and now my driver's side door handle is broken (I have to reach in from the back door to open it from the inside now.) I used to boast about the cold air conditioning, but that also quit on me last summer. The only way I could stay relatively cool was to cruise down the road with all four windows down.

Yesterday afternoon, after laying sod all morning with a great volunteer crew, I climbed into my car to head home only to discover that my windows no longer went down. No maneuvering I could contrive would get them to move and I was left to ride home as the temperatures escalated inside. While yesterday's heat was not too unpleasant, I found myself thinking of the impending summer and wondering how I was going to cope. When I told my wife about the latest Volvo adventure, her first suggestion was that it was finally time to look for a new(er) vehicle.

I did poke around online looking at potential vehicles last night, but also decided to look for the simple fix first. My hope was that a fuse had blown and I could replace it inexpensively and quickly. My relief (fiscally and physically) was met when I discovered it was easily remedied with an inexpensive fuse. Perhaps I would have been better served by checking that first instead of wasting effort on other possible answers.

Sometimes we jump to the worst and biggest conclusions when there are better and simpler solutions available. We might help ourselves more if we adhere to an old rule one of my college professors always espoused-the KISS principle-which stands for, "Keep It Simple, Stupid."

Clueless

Do you ever feel absolutely clueless? Maybe it's in a social situation when you aren't real sure what's going to happen or who is going to be there. Perhaps it's a situation in your job when you aren't sure what will happen to your company or the people you work with. It may be an unsettling relationship ordeal and the lack of a clear, healing solution. There are many moments in parenting when cluelessness kicks in especially as your children enter new phases of life.

I can speak of this state with a certain amount of (uncertain) authority as I have been here many times in my own life. While I don't have an immediate solution for this lack of clarity, I do believe there are things we can do until the waters are less murky.

• Keep doing what you know is right. 
• Pray consistently and faithfully. 
• Seek out the counsel of wiser, more experienced people. 
• Do everything with respect and love.

This doesn't guarantee the immediate appearance of a clear direction, but it puts us in the best position to receive it when it finally arrives.

It's Not a Quick Fix

It’s sometimes difficult being a person who wants to fix things when they aren’t going well. I want to assess an issue, come up with a solution, and put it into action. Unfortunately, part of this desire can work against me by looking only for a quick fix. Long-term and deep problems can’t be remedied with a snap decision and limited time. As I often share with people in counseling situations, “You can’t change in a day what took a lifetime to create."

There are some situations which can’t be corrected with a shift in strategy, an innovative approach, or a perfectly timed word of wisdom. I think this is good counsel for personal relationships and an especially valuable perspective for the church. Instead of trying to quickly fix a person’s problem(s) and then assimilating them into the church body, we should be focused on engaging with people on a journey of faith and healing. God didn’t put His church together just to provide a overnight medication for what ails us. He intends this to be a thriving, committed group living in healing grace together each day.

The church should be viewed as a long-term, loving community instead of a religious, urgent-care clinic where we want to diagnose, treat, and dismiss people as quickly as possible. True religion isn’t a quick fix, but an ongoing commitment to seeking God together.

Mr. Fix-It

Part of my natural desire is to fix things. I want to make people feel better, improve situations, and correct wrongs. I want to be able to step into tough circumstances and bring a solution that makes a positive difference for everyone. While this may be an admirable quality in some cases, it’s not a healthy approach to investing in people.

Is “fixing" all it’s purported to be anyway? What does that say about how we view the people we care about if we are only concerned with “fixing” them? Are they a problem to be solved? Do we earn merit badges for the number of people whose lives we’ve fixed? Have we reduced their struggles, convictions, life history, and personality to something pithy we aim to correct with a well-timed word or cultural cliche?

Perhaps “fixing" isn’t the solution after all. What if we are meant to illuminate the pathway to Christ and then simply walk in the journey of faith discovery with each other? What if we were genuinely focused on compassionately traveling together and seeking God instead of correcting what we perceive is wrong? No one needs me to swoop down in superhero-fashion to rescue them with my (semi)-wisdom and (pseudo)-courage. I just need to be honest enough to admit I don’t have all the answers, but want to be part of a long-term, loving community exploring the path of spirituality as we follow Christ.

Our personal relationships will improve if we stop trying to “fix” the people we love. Our community influence will increase in authenticity and power as well. This can be a hard shift of mindset for me, but it’s necessary if I want to be genuinely compassionate while sharing the truth of Christ.

Effective Treatment

When I worked in athletic training there were injuries that were obviously acute--meaning they had occurred as a result of immediate trauma on the playing field. This could be a broken bone, a serious contusion, or a flesh wound. While sometimes serious, the course of action was fairly well laid out for immediate treatment and recovery.

Things became more complicated when you were unsure if the injury was acute or chronic. Some damage would go unnoticed by an athlete until it finally compounded enough to appear. These could actually be the result of chronic conditions and while acute treatments might alleviate immediate pain they wouldn't address the underlying problem.

We can be guilty of this in how we handle problems in our relationships and our community. If we don't recognize the ongoing nature of issues we end up throwing temporary solutions at them without having a lasting effect. To be truly effective we need to recognize the root issue and find a way to address it. It's the difference in dropping one meal off for a family without groceries or working together to change the factors that have contributed to the lack of food. One will be immediately appreciated and short-lived while the other corrects the root cause.

If we fail to recognize the difference between acute & chronic issues we can keep ourselves busy, but never truly be effective in fixing the problem.

Talk Time

Whenever we are struggling through conflict, battling with problems, or feeling off-balance, we can end up being very unsure of our next step. Most of us need some time to process what we are thinking and what the right response should be. The problems intensify when we don't move past this stage and keep running things through only in our minds.

At some point we need to open our mouths and engage in helpful dialogue to move past these tough spots. This can be a conversation with a good friend over coffee, an open discussion with colleagues, or even a session with a qualified counselor. It's the next natural step to dealing with complicated situations. If we never reach this stage we end up increasing our own frustration and pushing a potential solution farther away.

At some point we've got to talk.

Make It Better

I think that people have always complained about things and I have certainly contributed to the stream of grievances. It might seem like the level of ranting has increased, but I really believe it's a reflection of the increased exposure we have to each other's opinions. The truth is that there has always been circumstances that are less than satisfactory and have caused unrest. Instead of adding to the criticism however, imagine what would happen if we resolved to do something about it.

If we are uncomfortable with the emotional health of our family, the state of our community, the lack of positive role models, divisive attitudes in churches, and other unhealthy practices, why don't we do something about it? If we are unwilling to make an effort to create positive change then we are forfeiting the right for our opinion to be considered valid. Criticism that is not accompanied by compassionate action simply adds to the noise of a divisive community.

It's acceptable to see something that isn't right and to say something about it, but let's make sure we're ready to do what's necessary to improve it.

Good vs. Right

See to it that you complete the work you have received in the Lord. Colossians 4:17

I can do a lot of things. That's not my ego talking about how much I am capable of accomplishing, but rather a statement of fact about the number of things that I can write on my to-do list. I can find ways to keep my day (month, year) busy and even feel good about what I was able to achieve. The problem is that I don't always do what God has asked me to do, but instead do what I want to do.

Of course for me to do what God has asked, I have to listen to what He tells me. This isn't always easy as I get caught up in best practices, advice from other leaders, and my own personal brand of wisdom. I see situations and develop solutions that I think will work best. While innovation can be healthy it can also distract me from what God is directly trying to share with me. If I want to find true success and personal satisfaction I need to be about the business God has given me and not just my own ambitions.

Reflections: Hopeless

It's difficult to comprehend the level of hopelessness that we see on the reservation. Even with our years of experience working out there, we are still unable to completely grasp the severity of their existence. My wife and I grew up very differently and I am more familiar with living in poverty, but there is still a level of despair that I don't entirely associate with. I always knew that there were other possibilities for me and sadly that same level of vision doesn't exist for many on the reservation. It's why we see absurdly high alcoholism rates, rampant gang involvement, and heartbreaking suicide numbers. They are a people nation defined by the lack of hope.

When you see a people facing that depth of despondency you wonder what impact you can have on a short term trip. I'm not entirely sure how strong our influence is to be honest. I do know that the only way you can rescue those that are trapped in hopelessness is to show them that hope does exist. It isn't an easy process and we are fighting years of tradition and oppression. Abandoning them to a dark fate isn't an option as far as I'm concerned. We are either part of their solution or part of their problem. They may feel that they don't have choices, but we certainly do.

Creative Solutions

I was in Chick-fil-A a few weeks ago on a dad & daughter date and saw this sign (pictured below) on

the table. I was immediately struck by the extremely high level of excellent customer service this represented. Since Chick-fil-A is very family friendly and has a great playground they are frequented by mothers with young children. As any parent with young ones will know it can be difficult to juggle getting them into the restaurant, ordering food, waiting for the food to be ready, and then finding your seat to get settled. The management at Chick-fil-A obviously noticed this and took creative steps to meet the needs of their customers and ensure that they continue to frequent the restaurant.

What difficulties and potential problems exist in your life that need a creative solution? Are you willing to invest thought to developing something new? Are you willing to do the extra work to put the pieces of that solution in place? The results will reveal the depth of your commitment to your goals and your desire to do what's necessary to find success even if the solution seems unusual at first.