Somewhere New

My wife and I ended up at a local professional wrestling event this past Friday night. We were there to support a friend from our life group and his return to pro wrestling. There was a long line into the building and a unique vibe once we entered and saw the ring in the middle of the room. We finally made our way to our seats through a full crowd and were ready for the night's entertainment. I leaned over to my wife as we waited for the opening bell and said to her, "I never thought I would be at pro wrestling on a Friday night." We had a great time even though we were somewhere we didn't think we'd ever be.

I've ended up in many different places in my life I wouldn't have predicted. I look back at my early life decisions and wonder how I survived my own choices to end up in a healthy marriage. I never imagined leaving my athletic training career for anything else and yet ended up in ministry. I had no plans to leave my hometown and yet now live in Milledgeville. My life history is full of those unanticipated surprises as I have been blessed to end up in places and situations I never planned. The fact they have been better than I expected speaks more to God's blessing and direction in my life than my own preparation.

Looking for Direction

It's a fairly stereotypical (and often accurate) assessment of men that we don't follow directions. We either assume that we can figure out how to assemble something on our own or that if we just keep driving we'll eventually find what we are looking for. I have made mistakes in a number of different areas that reflect the truth of that argument. I think part of it is stubbornness and often a miscalculated level of trust in my own abilities. Over time I have learned how much easier the process is if I will just look at the information that's available before I undertake a project.

The same principle holds true for discovering how to be a real man. Most of us end up forging ahead based only on our life experiences and family influences and hoping we'll figure it out along the way. While this may provide some foundational pieces that will help us, they don't fully equip us to determine the next best steps in all of our current relationships. At some point we will need to seek out the directions that God has for us--the ones that will help us navigate the treacherous pathways of life. When we try to just figure it out on our own is when we run into trouble. It takes positive encouragement from other men and a healthy dose of humility to admit we don't know what to do next and that we need help.

While some might view this as the ultimate sign of weakness, I actually believe it reveals powerful humility and wisdom. We can't begin to find the correct next steps until we admit we need help finding them.

Pick One

I don't want to be too simplistic, but the truth is that we have two paths to choose in life. We can decide to forge our own way, rely on our own wisdom, and try to maximize our personal strengths based on what we think is right. Our other option is to take those same  things and trust God with the outcome. We might find a modicum of success doing things our own way, but we will be frustrated at some point with our own inadequacies. I guess the larger question to ask ourselves is, "What does it actually hurt to try things God's way for a while?"

One Direction

Knowing what direction to move in isn't always easy. We often make it more difficult than it should be because we rely entirely on ourselves instead of seeking God's wisdom. Humbling ourselves enough to hear what God has to say-even if it's painfully difficult-is the only way we can be assured of heading down the right path. When we have reached a point of exhausted desperation we have finally begun to open ourselves up to God's leading and perfect plan for our lives. Beginning with a simple prayer of submission, listening intently to where God directs us, and then being obedient to what He asks is the way to finding our true direction.

Father, I am tired of struggling to do things my way.

I am desperate for direction from You.

I want to follow Your lead for my life.

You know my heart and my desires.

Keep me in constant unity with Your Holy Spirit.

I trust You with my past, present, and future.

Reveal to me my next step.

Give me faith to trust You as I step forward.

Amen.

Not Traveling Alone

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I have arrived where I am today. I used to say that I was a self-made man, one who had endured tough trials and managed to find success because of my personal drive and will. In retrospect, (and after having several helpings of humble pie) I gladly recognize that there is no way that could be a possibility if I am willing to be honest. If my current status was just the result of my personal supply of willpower, ambition, and focus, I would be very limited in my personal development and overall health. Instead, I am grateful to acknowledge the direct and indirect contribution of thousands of people to my journey.

I see the impact of the lives that God brought around me and continues to use to shape me into a better man than I could ever be alone. It's a powerful reminder that God cares far too much for me to let me ruin my life with my own decisions, but instead works faithfully to direct my steps down a path that leads to me being a God-focused man. It reinforces the simple truth that Pastor Patrick Morley shares in his books: "Because God is good, your life will not turn out like you planned." I'm forever grateful that God didn't abandon me to my own decision-making and poorly guided plan of life. I know that I am far from being complete, but I have greater confidence in this path from Him than I do in my ability to forge an independent life journey.

Not a Cliche

We all face situations where we are at a loss for words and action steps. Our personal wisdom doesn't seem up to the task of choosing what is next and we are unsure of which direction is best. It can be quite frustrating and can even cause a fair amount of heartbreak as this indecision can become quite paralyzing. It might seem cliche to those who don't believe fully in its power, but I know that the most important thing to do is to pray.

While circumstances may catch us by surprise they are never beyond God's ability to see. He knows the best possible outcome and is willing to guide us if we will let Him. He understands the depth of our confusion and pain and wants to bring our attention back to Him while bringing us healing. He works to restore our faith when it seems to wane and cover us with peace like a warm well-worn blanket. Even when we are unsure of exactly what to ask for, He is able and ready to deliver the answer we are desperate to find. He is our greatest comfort in times of need and simply asks that we seek Him and trust Him. Without faith in Him how else would we manage to survive these stormy seasons?

Good vs. Right

See to it that you complete the work you have received in the Lord. Colossians 4:17

I can do a lot of things. That's not my ego talking about how much I am capable of accomplishing, but rather a statement of fact about the number of things that I can write on my to-do list. I can find ways to keep my day (month, year) busy and even feel good about what I was able to achieve. The problem is that I don't always do what God has asked me to do, but instead do what I want to do.

Of course for me to do what God has asked, I have to listen to what He tells me. This isn't always easy as I get caught up in best practices, advice from other leaders, and my own personal brand of wisdom. I see situations and develop solutions that I think will work best. While innovation can be healthy it can also distract me from what God is directly trying to share with me. If I want to find true success and personal satisfaction I need to be about the business God has given me and not just my own ambitions.

You're Going the Wrong Way!

One of my favorites scenes from the movie "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" is when John Candy accidentally drives onto a divided highway heading against traffic. There are no other cars on the road so he and Steve Martin don't notice their error until a car on the opposite side of the road sees their mistake and tries to warn them. They yell out their window, "You're going the wrong way!" and John and Steve respond by saying, "How do they know where we're going?"

Obviously, our actor friends were heading down a path that was going to harm them and didn't recognize it until it was almost too late. Hopefully it makes us think about the path that we are on as well and leads us to ask a few questions.

• Are we going in the right direction at this point in our lives?
• Who is traveling with us and pointing things out?
• Do these people know where we're going & are they headed in the same direction?

If we are clear on the path that we are traveling, we will make decisions that help us get to where we need to be. We won't always make the right call, but hopefully we can weather this setback and keep moving where we want to go. There will be some people who can help us stay on course, but we need to make sure to only listen to like-minded people or we'll end up straying from our intended destination. 

It's fairly simple advice: don't take directions from someone who isn't going towards the same place you are going, but listen to those that understand your intended destination.

The Other Side

In John chapter 21, the disciples had been fishing all night and had caught nothing. Jesus appeared on the shore and told them to drop their nets on the other side. The disciples replied that they had caught nothing, but listened to what Christ told them and were rewarded with a full net of fish.

When we move forward solely under our own efforts & plans we will come up with empty nets. It is only under the direction of God that we see true, long-lasting success. We have to be tired from doing it on our own before we humble ourselves to hear His direction however. Our humility increases when we realize the fruitlessness of doing things with our self-fueled plans.

We often make the mistake of letting our empty nets hold us back, but the failures of our past are learning experiences that have prepared us for this present time. The emptiness isn't a sign of God's failure--they often reflect our own endeavors that moved forward with out God's direction. 

For true fulfillment and Christ-like success we must listen to His voice tell us where our nets should be dropped. Our obedience will meet His promise on the other side.