Not This Way

When I was in college a group of us decided to take a late night road trip to Jacksonville just to get out of town. We ended up at a Denny's for a post-midnight breakfast before heading home. When I left the restaurant in our car I quickly discovered that Jacksonville is a circuit of one-way streets. Unfortunately, I had started out in the wrong direction before realizing it and ended up driving the wrong way. There was some momentary panic as I saw other cars advancing on me and realized that I was the one driving in the wrong direction. Fortunately, we were able to get turned around before anyone got hurt and figured out how to get moving in the right direction.

It's also easy to get turned around in our life decisions and head in the wrong direction. If we aren't paying attention to the warning signs, we can stay on that track longer than we should and end up hurting ourselves and others. Knowing which direction we want to move, setting up boundaries to keep us from going off course, and enlisting reliable people to help us can help prevent long-term movement down the wrong path.

Set the Course

At Northridge we have an event at least twice a year called "Baby Dedication" where families get together and pray a blessing over their young child. It also involves parents consciously thinking about what they would like their children to become while making a commitment to raising them up in Christ. I always enjoy being a small part of this ceremony and watching the families and friends rallying together around each other and the future of this child. While there are no guarantees along this life path, there is a tremendous benefit in establishing a specific bearing.

There's something powerfully inspiring about setting a course of direction. I believe most people set out with good intentions, but neglect to project a specific path. Having some confidence in the course we want to follow keeps us focused on making choices that support that desire. Being able to define where you want to go helps shape the life we live along the way.

Target Practice

We have two choices when thinking about our future. We can carefully choose our goal(s) and work diligently towards them or decide that wherever we end up is good enough. This is the difference in aiming at a target you have drawn on the wall or drawing the target around your shot after it has landed. One method will push you forward for growth while the other settles for whatever happens.

Intentionally aiming is harder work, but brings greater satisfaction when your goal is reached.

The Right Course

I was talking with a fellow runner this morning over coffee about the 5K race we ran this past weekend. This was the race that had a confusing cone placement that caused all but two runners (my friend & I) to run a different course than what was mapped out. I told him that after we turned the wrong corner my immediate thought was that I needed to get back on course as soon as possible. I didn't know what the other runners were going to do, but I knew that I needed to correct my path quickly.

What do we do when we end up off course in our life? Do we even realize that we aren't moving in the right direction? If we aren't clear on the path we should be on we won't necessarily notice and will just keep moving farther away from where we want to be. When we are finally aware that this isn't right we've got to make the necessary adjustments to get back to where we belong. It will take some extra effort, but that will make our journey more rewarding in the end.

Consider It

A few weeks ago one of our teaching pastors shared a message that issued a challenge to "consider your ways." It's a provocation to think carefully about the path we are on in life and to make sure we are headed in the right direction. It sets us up for a regular time of introspection that is necessary to keep us focused on the right way. If we don't occasionally pause to measure our motivation and get our bearings, we can find ourselves off track. It's hard to implement course corrections if you don't recognize that you've strayed from your intended path.

Taking measure of our actions and motivations isn't always easy. If we want to find success, however, it's important to periodically ask three questions: 

• Where are you going?
• What are you doing?
• Why are you doing it?

Stop and think about these answers now and then or you'll end up far from your intended destination.

Looking for Direction

It's a fairly stereotypical (and often accurate) assessment of men that we don't follow directions. We either assume that we can figure out how to assemble something on our own or that if we just keep driving we'll eventually find what we are looking for. I have made mistakes in a number of different areas that reflect the truth of that argument. I think part of it is stubbornness and often a miscalculated level of trust in my own abilities. Over time I have learned how much easier the process is if I will just look at the information that's available before I undertake a project.

The same principle holds true for discovering how to be a real man. Most of us end up forging ahead based only on our life experiences and family influences and hoping we'll figure it out along the way. While this may provide some foundational pieces that will help us, they don't fully equip us to determine the next best steps in all of our current relationships. At some point we will need to seek out the directions that God has for us--the ones that will help us navigate the treacherous pathways of life. When we try to just figure it out on our own is when we run into trouble. It takes positive encouragement from other men and a healthy dose of humility to admit we don't know what to do next and that we need help.

While some might view this as the ultimate sign of weakness, I actually believe it reveals powerful humility and wisdom. We can't begin to find the correct next steps until we admit we need help finding them.

One Direction

Knowing what direction to move in isn't always easy. We often make it more difficult than it should be because we rely entirely on ourselves instead of seeking God's wisdom. Humbling ourselves enough to hear what God has to say-even if it's painfully difficult-is the only way we can be assured of heading down the right path. When we have reached a point of exhausted desperation we have finally begun to open ourselves up to God's leading and perfect plan for our lives. Beginning with a simple prayer of submission, listening intently to where God directs us, and then being obedient to what He asks is the way to finding our true direction.

Father, I am tired of struggling to do things my way.

I am desperate for direction from You.

I want to follow Your lead for my life.

You know my heart and my desires.

Keep me in constant unity with Your Holy Spirit.

I trust You with my past, present, and future.

Reveal to me my next step.

Give me faith to trust You as I step forward.

Amen.

You're Going the Wrong Way!

One of my favorites scenes from the movie "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" is when John Candy accidentally drives onto a divided highway heading against traffic. There are no other cars on the road so he and Steve Martin don't notice their error until a car on the opposite side of the road sees their mistake and tries to warn them. They yell out their window, "You're going the wrong way!" and John and Steve respond by saying, "How do they know where we're going?"

Obviously, our actor friends were heading down a path that was going to harm them and didn't recognize it until it was almost too late. Hopefully it makes us think about the path that we are on as well and leads us to ask a few questions.

• Are we going in the right direction at this point in our lives?
• Who is traveling with us and pointing things out?
• Do these people know where we're going & are they headed in the same direction?

If we are clear on the path that we are traveling, we will make decisions that help us get to where we need to be. We won't always make the right call, but hopefully we can weather this setback and keep moving where we want to go. There will be some people who can help us stay on course, but we need to make sure to only listen to like-minded people or we'll end up straying from our intended destination. 

It's fairly simple advice: don't take directions from someone who isn't going towards the same place you are going, but listen to those that understand your intended destination.

All In

I struggle with the idea of doing things half way. I believe that if you commit to doing something that you

should attack it with full intensity and focus. It's the only way to ensure that things get done and are done with excellence. Unfortunately, I don't always apply this attitude to the right things and can find myself throwing that energy into something unproductive, distracting, and sometimes destructive. The missing ingredient to the formula for productive maturity is discipline.

When I am driven to see positive results I am more disciplined in my approach. This rigid, directed energy may start in one area of my life (ie. diet & exercise) but quickly influences other parts of my life as well. I recognize that I need to maintain this discipline in all areas of my life or I will find that I have it in no parts of my life. Not only does it help me achieve my goals, it makes me a better Christ-follower, husband, father and pastor.

Straight Aim

When we partnered with Vaughn Chapel to host a camp for underserved children in Milledgeville this summer, we went to a camp that had a ton of activities. One of the most fun for the campers (and staffers) was when we got to shoot the BB guns. It was enjoyable for a bit and then they put up some paper targets and aluminum cans for us to aim at. That transformed a fun activity into something that quickly got serious. Several of our male staffers were suddenly very interested in shooting the guns (including yours truly) and spent several minutes and dozens of BBs trying to see who could hit the most targets. Once we knew what we were aiming at it changed our focus and intensity.

It's no different in a Christian life either. We can meander through attending church services and going to events and yet feel that something is missing. When we choose to purposefully read God's Word, determine how it impacts our life, and then do something about it, things change. Identifying the targets that God wants us to focus on and then working on them will put emphasis on the life-changing principles that matter. Much like shooting BB guns, the challenge and excitement of working towards something is pretty rewarding.

Quotables Day 4

"The great thing in life is not so much where you stand, but in what direction you are moving."

-Oliver Wendell Holmes

The start of a new year brings about the requisite list of resolutions, a look back at the year that was, and an increased focus on bettering yourself.  I think it is safe to say that we all have things we want to improve in ourselves (if not I would challenge your honesty) and that the new year can be an impetus to work at those changes.  The discouragement comes when we don't see the results as quickly as we had hoped or when we realize that our actual resolutions have been the same for the past five years.  It has taken me several years to get to a point where I didn't allow the vision of who I could & should be to overwhelm the current reality of who I am at this moment.

I've shared with youth for several years now that God will meet you exactly where you are at, but He won't leave you there.  My point is that even though you may have convinced yourself that you are "too far gone", that God doesn't believe so.  However, when you are truly striving to be a committed follower, He moves you down a pathway that leads to you resembling Him more as you strive each day. 

In my mind that is the point that Sir Holmes is trying to make.  As long as we live here we are a work in progress.  The key is to be moving in a direction that leads to us becoming the men & women that God has created us to be.