Monday, May 28, 2012

Performance Anxiety

I struggle with the need to constantly prove myself. It is a misguided notion that my value is only measured in my contributions to other people or to an organization. It is an endless trap that can potentially cause damage in relationships and in my job. It actually reflects a deeper dissatisfaction and misunderstanding in my relationship with God. I think it is a fundamental issue that many people struggle with-believing that God loves us no matter what we do or do not do. 

As a reflection of our earthly relationships, I think that we expect God to toss us aside after we have struggled with the same sin for the 117th time or because we didn't react the way a "good Christian" should. Because so many of our human interactions are evaluated on the "what have you done for me lately?" scale, we tend to think that God is terribly disappointed in us and treats us with disdain. 

While there is value in constantly striving to improve and being diligent in our work ethic, we can't determine our self-worth with God by these measurements. The foundation of spiritual maturity is confidence in our kinship with God and His adoring love for us as His children. I love my own children regardless of their attitude and actions and nothing they can do would remove them from me. Our self-esteem can be boosted by this same assurance in our position in Christ.

We aren't part of His family because of our performance. We are lovingly included in His plan because of His unconditional love that was fulfilled on the cross.

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