Minor Adjustments

"Small shifts in our thinking can redefine the way the way we live."

Kevin G. Harney, Organic Outreach for Churches

Where do you need to shift your thinking?

• Future goals
• Parenting
• Finances
• Maximizing personal strengths
• Community involvement
• Relationships
• Health
• Commitment to Christ
• Church
• Personal development

It might be overwhelming to think about the depth and width of wholesale personal change in all of these areas at once. If we can begin with a small shift in the way that we think about these specific parts, we can determine the next step in the right direction. The small beginnings will help us see incremental progress that will lead to success.

One Up

It's not easy to write about an unhealthy communication trap that I am often guilty of falling into. It's much easier just to notice it in other people and be irritated with their habit than to do something about it myself. However, I truly believe it is a common practice that is detrimental to developing genuinely compassionate community. It's the relationship-killing practice of "one-upping."

This is commonly seen when someone shares a story of how difficult things are in their life and we feel the need to top their tale with our own. It quickly becomes a contest to see who can elevate their level of woe above the other. No matter how difficult a present life circumstance might be, we can swing the attention back to ourselves and diminish the other person in just a few sentences. This is not meant to include genuine stories of compassion for the sake of encouragement and reminding people that they are not alone. Sadly, those positive story-tellings are often the exception instead of the norm.

Why do we feel the need to "one-up" somebody? Is it a selfish desire to minimize someones experience and life trials by making our circumstances much worse? Without always recognizing it are we finding ourselves caught in a constant need for inflating our own ego?

Why can't we simply empathize with that person without having to tell our "greater" story? Even if we are wounded from the pain of our own decisions, would it hurt us to focus on the person in front of us? Imagine the difference in our families, workplaces, and community if we cared for the immediate needs of people without having to win the game of "who's situation is worse." Genuine compassion doesn't redirect attention back to ourselves.

Back to School

I always experience a bit of nostalgia this time of year as the school year gets started. It reminds me of my days teaching high school and how much I enjoyed the camaraderie of the staff gathering back together after the long summer. There were always new faces of enthusiastic new teachers ready to change the world as well as the seasoned veterans buckling in for another year of influence and education. We would exchange hugs, handshakes, and slaps on the back as we talked about our summer adventures and learning experiences. There was excitement in the air as we anticipated great things in the coming year with the exhaustion from the end of the previous year temporarily forgotten in the past.

I found myself watching the first faculty meeting of a local high school from a short distance this morning as all of these thoughts rolled through my mind. I was excited for them and the new challenges their students would bring. There will be great triumphs this year for them and also great disappointments. They will have powerful opportunities to shape young lives and open up minds to new possibilities. These educators will have unique moments to provide encouragement and speak positive truth.

My prayer for all of our teachers and staff is that they would remember the value of what they are doing as the invest in this generation. I pray that they would recognize the power of influence and know that success is not always immediately measurable. I pray that they would stay focused on doing what is right even when it is difficult and would maintain their commitment to their calling. I pray that they would strive to understand the stories of their students and know that the issues they see on the surface reflect a complicated and sometimes difficult life. I pray for patience, understanding, and insight that helps when circumstances are difficult.

Their calling is a noble and difficult one and they have my highest respect for their daily efforts and investment. Thank you teachers and staff for your sacrifices and willingness to make a difference in our youth. Your impact is greater and longer lasting than you can imagine.

Ready for More

We all possess finite amounts of energy: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical. Our pattern of life demands that we pour out our energy reserves in various places. Many times we get to choose where we will invest our energies for the best possible impact, but there are also times when the circumstances dictate how our personal reserves are spent. The truth is that whether it is through the day-to-day pace of life or unexpected, unique situations, we will eventually run out of energy. People that are healthier (from a holistic perspective) are those that recognize when their levels are low and know what to do to replenish them.

To maximize our potential we need to be honest enough with ourselves to see when we have exhausted our capabilities. We also need to be self-aware enough to know what to do to fill ourselves back up. It's a wise person who not only correctly identifies a deficiency, but who also takes the time to work to refill their empty tanks of personal strength.

Owning the "Oops"

The Colorado Rockies are the worst team in the National League West division and sit 14 games out of first place. Last night, they chose to honor one of their better players, Troy Tulowitzki by giving away 15,000 jerseys with his name on the back. Sadly, the team misspelled his name on the jerseys that the fans received. That means that someone didn't do a quality check to make sure things were printed correctly before the big day. This also means that someone didn't know how to spell the last name of the best player on the Rockies either. It's an embarrassment for the organization and a tough day for a few employees in particular.

While this is a big mistake that is garnering national attention, it is also a big moment for the Rockies leadership. They could have chosen to cast the blame on one employee, fire them, and try to move on. They instead have modeled good leadership by owning up to the mistake and offering a new jersey in the future with the correct spelling. A true leader is willing to admit when they make a mistake without casting blame and then works to make the situation right. This is true of leaders in organizations as well as family leaders. Our willingness to own up to errors and work to correct them inspires loyalty and sets an example for others to follow.

It's inevitable that we will make mistakes, but we determine our reputation and legacy by how we respond to them.

Tracking Progress

I drive a 1993 Volvo 240S that was generously given to me by my mother-in-law several years ago. It has served me well and is completely paid for which satisfies two important qualities in a vehicle for me. The engine runs well, but other features on the car are beginning to stop working. One of those is my odometer which stopped keeping track of miles at 212,559. I didn't realize this until I was checking my mileage for my next oil change and realized it hadn't moved. It really isn't a big deal since I don't plan on selling the car and the difficulty in removing the dash to fix it just doesn't seem worth the effort. It does mean that I can't accurately track how many miles I've traveled and have to use other methods to figure out my progress.

It makes me wonder how effectively I'm measuring progress in other areas of my life. How am I determining my spiritual growth? How do I know if I am a better husband and father? Do I know if I am moving closer to who Christ wants me to be? Am I better at thinking of the needs of other people or am I purely self-focused? Have I made some positive changes in my character and am I moving towards the man that I want to be? 

I need to figure out consistently accurate ways to measure these things if they are important in my life. If I'm neglecting to assess my growth then I'm deciding it's not that important for me to make progress.

Close to Perfect

Perfection is unattainable, but there are some times when the details come together in a way that is good medicine for your soul. What does that day of rest look like?

• Waking up without having to get right out of bed, but spending the next hour in quiet, dozy, meditative thought and prayer
• Coffee being ready when I finally rise
• Two hours on our back deck with my wife, our dogs, and my Bible
• A random conversation with a kind, older, out of town couple in the parking lot of the church
• A lunch date with all three of my daughters filled with laughter and goofy stories
• Running into that same older couple as we went to lunch
• Parallel parking lessons with my oldest girl
• Playing a card game as a family instead of lounging in separate rooms
• A good nap with a puppy on the couch
• Ice cream for dinner
• Ending the night vegging with the love of my life.

I needed a day like today as refreshment from the weariness of the regular pace of life. It may not have been ideal for anyone else, but it was exactly what I needed.