Own It

My first real paying job was at Taco Bell in Ormond Beach. I was making minimum wage, which at the time was the grand sum of $3.15 an hour. I had done other odd jobs to make a few bucks now and then, but this was my first official employment.

I distinctly remember an instance where I was making the sauces in the back and accidentally used the wrong proportion of powder and water. It made the sauce very clumpy and unusable, but I was so worried about making a mistake that I labeled it and stuck it in the back of our walk in cooler. I didn't tell anyone I messed up because I didn't want to get into trouble so early in my employment.

The problem with that bit of history wasn't in the waste of a $1 packet of pizza sauce, but in my unwillingness to own up to my mistake. It's a common problem seen on many different levels in our communities. We are looking for other people to blame for our circumstances and do whatever we can to hide our errors. Instead of owning up to our poor choices, we try to find ways to deflect blame and refuse responsibility. I believe part of it is attributed to our desire to not look foolish, but instead we end up being people with no backbone or integrity.

If we want to be part of an honest, trusting, growing community we can't maintain this course. We've got to learn from our mistakes by admitting them when they happen and using that experience to teach us a better path. When we are unwilling to own up to our mistakes we remove the opportunity for growth.

Owning It

I wrote yesterday about the ill-fated decision of the Seahawks that cost them their second consecutive title. While that choice is still being ripped to shreds by many I have to give Head Coach Pete Carroll credit for standing tall. He didn't try to pass the blame off any his players or assistant coaches. Pete quickly took credit for the decision and accepted any responsibility that comes with it.

This is what good leaders do. They don't try to place the blame on others around them or avoid any responsibility for their poor choices. As difficult as it may be, they step up to receive the negative criticism and admit their contribution to the mess. This type of transparency builds respect with the team you work with and strengthens loyalty. Any other response would erode those relationships and weaken the foundation of the team.

As a leader you won't always make the right decision, but you can always choose to take responsibility for your choices.

The Blame Game

"Don't call me Naomi," she told them. "Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me." Ruth 1:20-21

Naomi and her husband made a decision to leave their homeland for a foreign country. They left behind a place God had set aside for them and pursued a life in a land they weren't intended to live in. After her husband and two sons had died Naomi decided to return to the only other life she knew. Obviously, her circumstances had made her bitter and she placed all of the responsibility for her current condition on God. Her troubles were not a result of God's punitive attitude, but of the choices that her family had made.

What attitude do we have when our circumstances turn sour? Can we honestly assess how our decisions have led us down this pathway or are we content to blame God for the nasty consequences of our decisions? He is a big enough God to handle our accusations, but we'll never see any personal growth if we don't take responsibility for our own actions.

Owning the "Oops"

The Colorado Rockies are the worst team in the National League West division and sit 14 games out of first place. Last night, they chose to honor one of their better players, Troy Tulowitzki by giving away 15,000 jerseys with his name on the back. Sadly, the team misspelled his name on the jerseys that the fans received. That means that someone didn't do a quality check to make sure things were printed correctly before the big day. This also means that someone didn't know how to spell the last name of the best player on the Rockies either. It's an embarrassment for the organization and a tough day for a few employees in particular.

While this is a big mistake that is garnering national attention, it is also a big moment for the Rockies leadership. They could have chosen to cast the blame on one employee, fire them, and try to move on. They instead have modeled good leadership by owning up to the mistake and offering a new jersey in the future with the correct spelling. A true leader is willing to admit when they make a mistake without casting blame and then works to make the situation right. This is true of leaders in organizations as well as family leaders. Our willingness to own up to errors and work to correct them inspires loyalty and sets an example for others to follow.

It's inevitable that we will make mistakes, but we determine our reputation and legacy by how we respond to them.

My Best (Or Not)

There are some days when it seems like I am operating at maximum intensity and capability. These are the days when I feel like I relate well to people, I see how all the details fit into the big picture, my productivity is off-the-charts, and everything gels together. I love these days when all the parts of my life seem to fit cohesively together without any blurred lines or uncomfortable overlap. Unfortunately, this "perfect" type of day doesn't happen very often.

Most days I am able to do certain things well and then find ways to struggle through the other parts with some degree of completion. There are also those days (fortunately they are rare) where it seems that I can't hold a conversation with myself without communication issues. These are the highly frustrating times when it feels like everything I touch becomes exponentially more difficult.

The truth is that no matter what kind of day it is I still need to persevere. I can't quit life because I'm struggling in my communication or having a hard time thinking beyond the tasks of today. As a leader in my calling and in my family, there will be days when I have to battle through with less than my best stuff. While it might exhaust me more than the high-performance days, I'm sure that I will be made better through the struggle than when it all comes easily. I know that's the truth, but sometimes I need the reminder when it all seems to be an extremely difficult journey.

Seasons Change

While our May temps drift back into early spring mode here in Milledgeville, I know it is only a brief respite from the progression of summer. I can see the signals as humidity increases and the water temperature moves northward. My mind is also racing in full camp preparation mode for the 2nd week of June-another sure sign that summer is almost upon us.

While I can readily identify the upcoming season, the real question is whether I can recognize changes of season in my life and in ministry. I know that I'm not alone in this dilemma. Part of it (echoing the wise words of Wayne Cordeiro in his book, Sifted) is that we have lost understanding of the significance of changing seasons. In farming communities, it is essential to recognize the time of year and the responsibilities that change as the seasons also shift. There are times when your daily tasks and goals will vary and to do anything other than what that season calls for would be foolish.

We have neglected the importance of changing seasons to our own detriment. We tend to do the same things each week/month/year with great ferocity until we run out of energy and take a vacation (or collapse.) Once that very brief rest period is over we resume the exact same activities that consumed us before our break. There is no wisdom in this and no focus on what is important at this time. 

Just as you can't wisely roll through December and act like it's mid-summer, you won't find success by acting if the seasons haven't changed in other areas of your life either.

The Blame Game

I was online reading my hometown newspaper a few weeks ago, and saw this headline, "Drivers looking to place blame for higher gas prices." While I understand the frustration with increasing fuel costs, I think it is symptomatic of a larger problem. We are looking for a way to shift responsibility for our poor life choices onto someone else.

Unfortunately, the concept of assigning blame for our life circumstances has become a common pastime. There is a continual shifting of responsibility for unfavorable results that has permeated our culture. When our jobs are less than satisfactory we blame poor bosses and leadership. Our anger and addictive habits are charged to how we are treated by other people. When our children make poor choices they point their finger at friends and family. When a marriage is on the rocks it is the fault of our spouse. Any dysfunction in our family today is a result of how we grew up and the poor example that was set for us.

It's as if figuring out who we can blame for our life conditions will make us feel better (it doesn't) by giving us a target with whom we can be angry. This is simply a defense mechanism that fools us into ignoring the contributions our own choices have made to our situation. It prevents us from honestly assessing our character and decision making, and will only lead to another generation of people who are not wise enough to take responsibility for their own choices. It creates impotent lives that will never improve beyond their current level of maturity and will not truly resolve any conflict. 

Most significantly, it leaves no room for honest interaction with God as He works to transform our flawed character into His likeness.