The Blame Game

"Don't call me Naomi," she told them. "Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me." Ruth 1:20-21

Naomi and her husband made a decision to leave their homeland for a foreign country. They left behind a place God had set aside for them and pursued a life in a land they weren't intended to live in. After her husband and two sons had died Naomi decided to return to the only other life she knew. Obviously, her circumstances had made her bitter and she placed all of the responsibility for her current condition on God. Her troubles were not a result of God's punitive attitude, but of the choices that her family had made.

What attitude do we have when our circumstances turn sour? Can we honestly assess how our decisions have led us down this pathway or are we content to blame God for the nasty consequences of our decisions? He is a big enough God to handle our accusations, but we'll never see any personal growth if we don't take responsibility for our own actions.

Insecure

"Insecurity makes you do things that aren't good." Bill Romanowski

I hadn't ever thought of it in that way before, but when I heard this quote on the radio I realized how true it was. He was describing the actions of Alex Rodriguez who is currently suspended for the entire 2014 baseball season for steroid issues. Bill was asked what he thought about the situation and responded with that simple, insightful statement. 

When we are unsure of our own identity and unable to accurately assess ourselves, we struggle with insecurity. While I know very few people who don't have issues with it in some way, it can become an impetus for stupidity when it is uncontrolled. It can lead you to:

• Seek affection from someone that isn't your spouse
• Cheat to get ahead at work
• Constantly speak poorly about other people
• Disregard other people's feelings for personal satisfaction
• Abandon all principles of character to create an illusion of confidence
• Cling to a lie(s) for so long that you've convinced yourself it's the truth
• Destroy personal relationships-even those that want to help you

We all battle issues with insecurity on some level. The big question is whether you will admit it and work to create a positive, accurate self image or continue to spiral downwards in a destructive cycle of blame and hurt. It's best to realize it before the damage is too extensive and you are unable to see the truth for yourself.

The Blame Game

I was online reading my hometown newspaper a few weeks ago, and saw this headline, "Drivers looking to place blame for higher gas prices." While I understand the frustration with increasing fuel costs, I think it is symptomatic of a larger problem. We are looking for a way to shift responsibility for our poor life choices onto someone else.

Unfortunately, the concept of assigning blame for our life circumstances has become a common pastime. There is a continual shifting of responsibility for unfavorable results that has permeated our culture. When our jobs are less than satisfactory we blame poor bosses and leadership. Our anger and addictive habits are charged to how we are treated by other people. When our children make poor choices they point their finger at friends and family. When a marriage is on the rocks it is the fault of our spouse. Any dysfunction in our family today is a result of how we grew up and the poor example that was set for us.

It's as if figuring out who we can blame for our life conditions will make us feel better (it doesn't) by giving us a target with whom we can be angry. This is simply a defense mechanism that fools us into ignoring the contributions our own choices have made to our situation. It prevents us from honestly assessing our character and decision making, and will only lead to another generation of people who are not wise enough to take responsibility for their own choices. It creates impotent lives that will never improve beyond their current level of maturity and will not truly resolve any conflict. 

Most significantly, it leaves no room for honest interaction with God as He works to transform our flawed character into His likeness.