Feeling Tense?

It almost sounds counterproductive to say that you need conflict to thrive, but it's been proven true. To increase physical strength you have to create tension that pushes you beyond your current muscular limits. The physiological principle carries over into our psychological health as well. Handling tension in a healthy way will produce stronger people, organizations,  and relationships. Recognizing the truth of this principle doesn't mean that we always embrace the opportunity to grow through tension however. In fact, most people would be content to attempt to avoid it and believe they were better off trying to say in a "middle ground."

 In the past, I have handled tension & conflict poorly more times than I care to count, and subsequently damaged several relationships--some permanently.  Sometimes this is a result of ignoring conflict because we don't want to deal with it or we are afraid of the change that will be necessary in us. We can also forcefully engage conflict without actually working to resolve anything, but cause widespread damage due to our pride and insensitivity. The landscape of the American church is littered with wounded pastors, leaders, Christians, and former church-goers who have dealt with this poorly and bear the battle scars of poorly managed tension.

The key to growing through this is to recognize that there is a tension that needs managing, prayerfully consider the next steps, and then work in humility to see this conflict resolved. It might be painfully uncomfortable during the process, but the increase in trust and strength that results from handling it in a godly way are worth the efforts. Managing tension with humility leads to healthy transformation in us as individuals, in our relationships with family, co-workers & friends, and in the organizations we partner with and lead.