I was praying today and thinking about the things that hold me back from future growth & maturity. I prayed, "Lord, please change my heart so that I can be a better pastor and leader." I heard God's answer to me, but it was definitively different from my prayer.
"I want to change your heart, but not so you can be a better pastor & leader. I want it changed so that you know me more. I want you transformed for your own relationship with me and not for the sake of anyone else. Everything else will flow out of this. Let me search your heart and make you new so that you can be with me."
This wasn't a shocking revelation, but it was a message I obviously needed to hear. My desire for transformation is genuine, but my motivation continues to need work.