Invested Community

A friend gave me a unique opportunity to speak at a drug court graduation today. I'll admit this was a first for me, but I looked forward to the chance to share some encouragement. Speaking to a new crowd of people is always a pleasurable challenge even when some of your audience isn't there by their own choice. I anticipated it being a blend of people who were striving to make changes in their lives with some of them farther along the journey than others.

Today was the celebration of a tremendous amount of hard work from many different people. There are the faithful workers in the program who endure great successes and repeated failures. The room was full of family and friends there to celebrate the success of their loved ones after long times of shedding tears. There were seven graduates who had persevered for close to two years (and some for longer) and are now ready for the next phase of their life to begin. It was a poignant reminder that while an individual's choices may have led to a point of desperation it was the collaborative efforts of many that would lead to better life choices. All of us are better as part of an invested community.

Portwood Unplugged

I have been consistently writing my blog for close to three years now and until we went on vacation I had been writing every day. This wasn't always easy to do and there were some days I struggled to put together decent content and go through the process of writing. My wife encouraged me to take a break, but I resisted because I didn't want to stop the streak I had started. I had planned to set up blogs to post while I was on vacation, but time got away from me and I didn't get that done. I had a difficult time letting that stretch of daily content go, but came to realize it was better for me in the long run.

I want to continue to write helpful content and I also recognize that sometimes it's best to take a short break. This gives me a chance to be reenergized and refreshed and will hopefully lead me to tackle writing with new enthusiasm. Choosing to step away and unplug is a good choice for a lot of things we do: work, hobbies, and even exercise. The brief time away can actually be better than continuing to doggedly push forward hoping to maintain a streak of habit.

Benefits Package

When my wife and I travel to Arizona (which we love to do) we have certain routines we stick to. While our airline will vary depending on the best possible price, we always rent our vehicles from National Car Rental. I have a contact there who always takes fantastic care of us from the reservation all the way through our return. In fact, he usually makes sure our vehicles are pulled forward and waiting for us when we arrive and expedites our check-in process. There are certain benefits from knowing someone and being a consistent customer.

We all like to receive benefits whether it’s a perk from our employment, privileges from club membership, or other positive results from our relationships. I think most of us look through this lens of personal fulfillment to make decisions about relationships, opportunities, and where we invest our energy. Before we engage in something we usually want to know how it will personally benefit us.

What if we shifted our perspective on this idea and spent the same amount of energy determining how we beneficial we are to other people? How much richer would our personal relationships be if we asked two questions: Am I adding benefit to the people around me? Are others enriched by my presence? I believe this focus will not only strengthen our key relationships, but will radically transform the way we view our community. Actively looking for ways to help other people adds value to all of us.

Home Town

We spent our family vacation hiding out on the beach in my home town last week. It's a place of strong memories and great comfort that can only be found in the home of your childhood. This doesn't decrease the love we have for where we currently live, but there is something about a place so firmly cemented in my mind and spirit.

The calming presence of the salt air, the heat of the sun (even under our umbrella), and the sound of waves crashing on the shore quickly bring to mind the life we shared there. They bring back vivid recollections of my time at Mainland High School, our children's early childhood years, walks on the
beach at night, buying our first home, my call into the ministry, and so many more. All of those things are part of the beginning of who we are now and how our family has grown together. Even when we return to our present home we bring part of this back with us and look forward to the next time we can visit. It's a pleasant trip of nostalgia which I never tire of making.

The truth is that every now and then we all need to go back home. It's a place which reminds us of where we began and how we've become who we are today.

Stained and Scarred

My wife and I both drive older vehicles. I have a 1993 Volvo which was generously given to me by my mother-in-law several years ago and Dana drives our 2003 Dodge Caravan. There are two good things about these cars: they are still on the road and they are paid for. They no longer have the new car smell, but have been made comfortable through regular use and familiarity. Each one has its own quirks as well: windows that won't go down, radio/odometer that no longer works, stains on the carpet, straight pins holding up the inside liner, door handles that don't always open, doodles on the back of seats from when our kids were younger, and even dings in doors. Most of these have a story behind them of some mishap, an accident, a family mess, or a malfunction. We laugh about them even as our vehicles continue to age because these stories and incidents are part of what make our vehicles belong to us.

I think our lives are like this too. We are no longer fresh, clean, or unmarked, but have scars and weird quirks developed over the years. We have lived out stories (sometimes painful and sometimes humorous) of why we are the way we are and the journey we've taken to arrive here today. We might feel well worn, but this comes from the sum of our experiences both good and bad. It's these imperfections that make us human and allow us to appreciate the scars and limps of other people as well. All of these things are key parts of the foundation of the person we are becoming and tell the story of how we have arrived.

One Year Later

It's been one year since I decided to change my life for the better. We had just returned from our annual vacation and I was tired of the constant roller coaster of healthy vs. unhealthy. My weight had shifted up and down for years in a 20-30 pound cycle and I realized it was not going to get any easier to keep off the pounds as I got older. My wife committed to helping me stay focused and I began a journey of healthy eating and exercise that has carried over to this year. One of my goals for 2015 was to complete a full calendar year of making better lifestyle choices. In that time I've become a runner, tried to encourage people who are making life change decisions, and shed 55 pounds. I keep telling myself that I won't go back to my old way of living and insist on continuing to make decisions that reinforce that conviction.

This might seem like a blog seeking out affirmation from others, but my intent is to actually encourage people to get started on the changes they want to make. Lasting transformation is a journey and it won't happen simply because we wish for it to be true. We are pulled to change due to the tension we feel between our current status and where we would like to be. Some days will take tremendous discipline and willpower, but hopefully the right patterns will be developed which help us all make better choices. Once you start to see positive changes it will only increase your commitment to the right course of action. Transformation won't take place in the next year unless we are willing to do something different from what we are currently practicing. As I often tell people, "You can't change in a day what took a lifetime to create." While this is true, I can start doing something new tomorrow which will eventually bring the change I'm looking for.

What new next step will you take to be transformed?

In the Moment

My family and I just returned from our annual vacation and we chose to forgo all technology while we were gone. We discovered it wasn't as difficult as it might have seemed and gave us the power to enjoy our time without being distracted. While I did take a few pictures of our week I wasn't caught up in trying to capture every moment for sharing on social media. I didn't spend any time scrolling through status updates, political/social opinions, or Internet rabbit trails leading nowhere. Together we read, sat quietly while watching the ocean, shared stories, and spent time in meditative thought. It was a subdued pace of life that already has me envying the next time we can withdraw.

There is an ago-old philosophical question which asks, "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, did it make a sound?" I suppose the parallel to how we live today would be, "If a moment happens and it's not posted on social media, did it take place?" The answer is obvious even if we struggle with how to live without feeling compelled to record all we experience.

Life should be measured in the memories we make and not in likes, shares, favorites, and retweets.