(Not) The Best

I will readily admit I am not all I could be. There is always a gap between who I would like to be and the man I am right now. It's not always a comfortable reality to confront, but I'm learning to be at peace in the process of growth.

The truth is that my family probably deserves a better husband and father. The rest of my family deserves a better son and brother. My friends certainly deserve a better friend. The people I am called to minister to deserve a better pastor. In spite of what they may all deserve, however, I'm the one they have. This doesn't diminish the value of my role or the importance I play in their life. Instead it energizes me to be the best version of myself I can be.

We have options when we are faced with our own shortcomings. There is always the option to take the path of denial and try to pretend they aren't real even though they are apparent to those who know us. We can choose to let them overwhelm and discourage us as we allow the weight of our human imperfections to crush our spirit. The path of transparent growth is our best option. This motivates us to have a realistic view of who we are while striving to become better people. It's the healthiest, if not the most simple decision to make for our future.

Taking this path will actually shape us into being the person the people in our life need the most.

A Lifelong Commitment

I love weddings and especially love to officiate them which gives me a front row seat for the ceremony. Fortunately, I have been part of dozens of different weddings during my years in ministry. I have been able to stand with couples I have known for years and also with couples I have recently met. As part of my preparation, I try to spend time with each bride and groom to hear their story. If we are going to share in this great day together I want to know how they met, the tale of their proposal, and their hopes for the future. I even share the story of the beginning of my own marriage and feel this gives us a common bond and greater insight into each other. 

This is a key part of the preparation process for me because of how uniquely special the wedding day is. I know these couples are in love and now we are unified in the vision for their ceremony and the power of the vows they will share. This is the beginning of an entirely new phase of life for this man and woman. It is their time to declare that even though they may not know the exact path for their lives, they know who they want their traveling companion to be. It will be a journey of transformation, great suffering, and great joy and they will make their way through it together. This adventure begins in front of their family, friends, and God as they declare their intent to commit to each other for life. 

A wedding is the gateway to the rest of their lives. While I cannot guarantee happy, healthy marriages as a result of this ceremony (that would certainly impact my fee structure if so!) I pray they see this as a launching pad of potential for the long and unknown future. It's the promise of what can be and the foundation of love which causes me to look forward to each wedding with such anticipation.

Prep Time

I once read an article about Peyton Manning, NFL quarterback, and his thoughts on his role. He said there were times after a game when he wished he had made a better decision at a particular moment, but he never wished that he had prepared more. Peyton's message was that he always prepared effectively even if his execution wasn't perfect.

I am certain that my execution in my role will not always be perfect. This is true whether I'm describing my parenting, teaching, leading, or pastoring. I will most certainly stumble and make mistakes, but I can focus on being as prepared as possible. I can be sure to pray intentionally, meditate carefully, read voraciously, and examine myself daily as I work to prepare for whatever may come my way. I don't want my regrets to be based in laziness.

Unity In Diversity

I had the honor of witnessing something very special yesterday afternoon at one of our local churches. A friend of mine was sharing his initial message after receiving his calling. In his church's culture, he would preach and then seek the affirmation of the church to receive his license. It was a ceremony of worship, Scripture, recognition, and the teaching of the Word in a powerful way.

Not only was his testimony engaging and effective, but the reverence shown throughout the entire ceremony impacted me deeply. I left with a higher sense of honor for my own role as a pastor and a tremendous sense of gratitude for my friends in this church. The diversity that our churches continue to share with each other is exceedingly valuable and I appreciate being included in this special day. I pray that our openness and willingness to share will continue as we grow together with understanding and mutual admiration.

Influence: The TCC Years

It has been a while since I continued in this blog series of influence, but I felt it was time to get after it and finish it up.

It is said, and accurately I might add, that we are the sum total of our life experiences. The individual that you are today is no accident, but has been shaped by the interactions of people around you with God obviously working through all of it whether we choose to recognize Him or not. I am the husband, father, pastor and follower of Christ that I am today because of the influence of many people, but a great deal of that influence has come from my years at Tomoka Christian Church, and specifically Joe Putting and Ed Marshall.

I grew up in the church, but wandered away from the truth that I knew through my senior year of high school and all of college. It wasn't until I was married and two very close friends invited Dana and I to TCC that we started the journey back. It was on my first Sunday there that we ended up "coincidentally" having lunch with Joe and Luanne Putting. That was the start of a friendship and a leading from God that changed our lives forever.

I was exposed to a passionate form of Christianity that was authentic and unlike anything I had seen before. It was no longer about Sunday rituals and was about being actively engaged in pursuing God's will for our lives and a desire to reach the rest of the world. Prayer took on meaning and was no longer a simple recitation. Worship was something to be actively engaged in and a part of every day life. I would say that I finally became a real Christ follower while I was there.

In 2003, Joe asked me to join his staff as the youth pastor. It was the start of the revealing of my true path in life and what God has called me to do. It was not always the easiest journey in my time there and our departure was certainly difficult, but the lessons that I learned from Joe and Ed are invaluable. Both men possess a passion for the Word of God and for lost souls that has shifted my focus over the years. We were all blessed to be part of some great works of God while we were there and I continue to look back even now for guidance on listening to God and how to be a pastor.

I am honestly grateful for the time that we were able to share together as a staff and warriors for the cause of Christ. The past year has been a tough learning experience and unfortunately I don't think our relationship will ever be the same, but I truly value the impact that Joe and  Ed have had on my life. My prayers are always with them and I hope that one day we could all sit down and celebrate God's work in our lives and what He accomplished through us while we served there together.

The Man I Want to Be

I think quite a bit about the man that I want to be.  Not that I am totally dissatisfied with who I am, but I also know that there is great room for improvement.  I think it is important for me to have that personal vision so that I know what I am working towards.  For accountability and clarification sake I have a short (albeit incomplete) list, in no particular order:

• Financially wise
• Giving & generous
• Even tempered
• Prayerful
• Loving & faithful husband
• Loving father
• Disciplined
• Healthy habits
• Visionary
• Confident in God
• Compassionate

I'm sure that some people could add things to my list, but it is more important to have your own.  It's difficult to go on a journey of discovery and growth if you don't know where you are headed.  So many people flounder in life (both physically & spiritually) because they don't have a clear vision for where they are going.  I see youth and adults continually make bad decisions that cause pain and anguish because they don't have a concept of who they want to become and more importantly, who God desires them to be.

Spending the time to prayerfully consider the person you want to be might seem discouraging when compared to your present state, but I find that it motivates you down the path that God truly wants you to travel.