(Not) The Best

I will readily admit I am not all I could be. There is always a gap between who I would like to be and the man I am right now. It's not always a comfortable reality to confront, but I'm learning to be at peace in the process of growth.

The truth is that my family probably deserves a better husband and father. The rest of my family deserves a better son and brother. My friends certainly deserve a better friend. The people I am called to minister to deserve a better pastor. In spite of what they may all deserve, however, I'm the one they have. This doesn't diminish the value of my role or the importance I play in their life. Instead it energizes me to be the best version of myself I can be.

We have options when we are faced with our own shortcomings. There is always the option to take the path of denial and try to pretend they aren't real even though they are apparent to those who know us. We can choose to let them overwhelm and discourage us as we allow the weight of our human imperfections to crush our spirit. The path of transparent growth is our best option. This motivates us to have a realistic view of who we are while striving to become better people. It's the healthiest, if not the most simple decision to make for our future.

Taking this path will actually shape us into being the person the people in our life need the most.

My Higher Calling

There is a part of my personality that thrives on making a difference in others. It's the piece of me that gives me vision for reaching people and innovative ideas for ways to make that happen. This is where I draw my inner strength and connectivity that allows me to be part of mission trips, leadership events, middle school camp, and other large events. Even with the amount of work that goes into planning and implementation I find myself energized when I am part of these opportunities.

As much as I come alive during these times of connectivity and influence, I know that I need to find time to counterbalance this output with downtime as well. It's not just about the need for rest and rejuvenation although that is extremely vital after busy weeks. It's the fact that I draw complete satisfaction by being with the people that need me the most-my family. It's in the peace of my own home that I can be made whole through the love of my family, the affection that we share, and the perfection of my calling as husband and father.

I won't give up the part of my calling to reach other people, but I will make sure to place my highest priority at home where it belongs.

The Man I Want to Be

I think quite a bit about the man that I want to be.  Not that I am totally dissatisfied with who I am, but I also know that there is great room for improvement.  I think it is important for me to have that personal vision so that I know what I am working towards.  For accountability and clarification sake I have a short (albeit incomplete) list, in no particular order:

• Financially wise
• Giving & generous
• Even tempered
• Prayerful
• Loving & faithful husband
• Loving father
• Disciplined
• Healthy habits
• Visionary
• Confident in God
• Compassionate

I'm sure that some people could add things to my list, but it is more important to have your own.  It's difficult to go on a journey of discovery and growth if you don't know where you are headed.  So many people flounder in life (both physically & spiritually) because they don't have a clear vision for where they are going.  I see youth and adults continually make bad decisions that cause pain and anguish because they don't have a concept of who they want to become and more importantly, who God desires them to be.

Spending the time to prayerfully consider the person you want to be might seem discouraging when compared to your present state, but I find that it motivates you down the path that God truly wants you to travel.