Just Listen

We hosted a Suicide Awareness Symposium at Northridge today as a service to our community. I have had my own life deeply impacted by suicide and was grateful for the wisdom and encouragement offered by all. This is can be an area of great unease, but one it is necessary to talk about if we want to help people in crisis.

I believe there are more people in that type of crisis around us than we know. I feel certain a great number of people in our community are struggling with feelings of hopelessness. If we want to be able to help, we've got to learn to listen.

Part of this involves hearing what people have to say, but it also means we are paying attention to nonverbal communication. Engaging all of our senses in compassionately caring for our community gives us the ability to see what is actually going on. This won't happen if we don't slow down our personal pace of life enough to notice. Our desire to listen means we will focus our attention (without any other distractions) on being present for those in need. Intently listening lets someone know we are there and we care what happens to them. Sometimes that focused compassion may be enough to save someone from making a choice they won't live to regret.

That's Encouraging

I drove to Atlanta today for a post-camp meeting and arrived a little earlier than I had anticipated. Fortunately, there was a coffee shop next to our meeting spot and I went inside to grab a bite while I waited. I wasn't quite sure of the normal procedures, but figured out I was supposed to be seated and they would bring my order over to me when it was ready. The delightful woman who delivered my meal was obviously happy to be there and dropped my food off with a big smile and friendly greeting. The unexpected part of her customer service was a big hug and a simple comment of "Have a very blessed day!" I wasn't having a bad day, but that small bit of encouragement was a positive enhancement to my morning.

There is great power in an act of encouragement. It doesn't always have to be a grand gesture, but can often be something very simple. By speaking a positive word, highlighting a job well done, or sharing a genuinely kind act of affection we can lift up others. If we recognize how valuable it is to us, why wouldn't we want to do the same for other people?

At Last

This past weekend a good friend of ours was married. I was honored to be part of their ceremony and share in their commitment to each other. Their story is a beautiful one of patience, trusting in God, and believing in the best for themselves. While there have been many moments where they were unsure of God's plan and timing, I feel confident they would say it was worth the wait.

It's not always easy to trust in God's timing for our lives. I know I am impatient for vision to become reality and struggle with waiting for it to happen. Fortunately, God has a sense of perfect timing and knows when it is best to deliver the answer to our prayers. While we often resist accepting this overall plan, our consistent faith will eventually reveal it's worth the wait.

Enjoy the Ride

It’s been a good year to be a New York Mets fan. We won our division and made the playoffs for the first time in nine years and have been fun to watch. We’ve got some good young talent and our front office made some smart moves to help us get better too. I’ve had a lot of people ask me about my expectations for the team now that we’re in the postseason as they wonder how the team will perform. I’ve been able to tell anyone who asks that everything that happens from here out is extra pleasure. Even if we were to lose right away (which we didn’t) it’s been a good ride and I’ve enjoyed the season no matter what happens.

Can we take that same attitude in the rest of our life? I’m not saying we should enter into things without planning for success, but I do think we need to find more joy in the journey. So often we create mental expectations and end up causing ourselves more stress than we should. We get caught up in the details of making life happen and forget to discover enjoyment. I am one who can be guilty of neglecting joyful moments simply because I’m focused on solving the next problem or trying to get things done. I believe we would all be more content if we could learn to enjoy the journey even as we keep pushing forward to make things happen.

An Act of Courage

Last week CC Sabathia, a pitcher for the New York Yankees, went into a treatment center for alcoholism. He came in the day before his team’s playoff game and asked to be checked in. Some people may not understand his timing, but it was apparent he recognized his powerlessness to conquer his habit. I actually admire him for his willingness to seek rehabilitation and hopefully move forward in changing his life. He showed great courage by being able to honestly say three simple words: I need help.

Some might perceive those words as a sign of weakness, but I protest that kind of thinking. It’s actually a person with great courage who knows they are not capable of doing something on their own. It takes great strength to admit your weaknesses and realize you must have the help of other people to stand strong. This is where authentic humility can bring us together in unified community. When we admit our individual need for help we become stronger because we stand together.

Trust But Verify

Our old, reliable minivan had to be taken in for repairs this week. This particular repair has been coming for about a month and finally reached a point of needing immediate action. After an initial assessment at a friend’s shop we believed it was going to be close to a $500 repair. I dropped it off at another mechanic and mentioned to him the suspected issue which he noted, but also said he would do his own investigation before doing any work.

I expected this to take a few days, but was called about an hour later to come pick it up. It ended up not being a major repair, but a simple cracked hose causing all of the problems. If it wasn’t for the willingness of this honest owner to check for himself, we would have ended up with a very expensive bill that still wouldn’t have fixed the problem.

The willingness to check things out for yourself is an admirable and wise quality. Sometimes we adopt what other people say and think without determining whether it’s true. We accept popular opinion or common themes of thinking and neglect to figure out if it fits our value system. I don’t think we need to actively doubt what anyone has to say, but we do need to make sure it aligns with who we are and what we believe. This isn’t a matter of not trusting other people as much as it is a need to verify what we allow to be part of our lives.

Blending the Ingredients

Today at the funeral of a special woman, one of the pastors described her as an "emulsifier." I have to admit this a unique term for a memorial service as I had never heard it used in that context before. In describing food, an emulsifier is used to bind together ingredients that wouldn't unify on their own. You might be able to shake up the ingredients (oil and vinegar salad dressing for example) but they will soon drift back into individual ingredients instead of one cohesive unit. Adding an emulsifier brings them together in a cohesive, inseparable unit. Using this as a descriptive term for someone is certainly uncommon, but it struck me as a tremendously high compliment as well. To be known as a person who is able to bring together divergent groups and maintain unity is a powerful trait.

I had to ask myself it that term could be applied to me. While I may not be the best judge of that answer, I recognize it is something I aspire to. My desire is to foster unity and be a bridge between people which leads to understanding. I want to help find solutions in difficult situations and to do so by bringing people together in a spirit of mutual accomplishment. I don't want to be known as someone who divides groups of people or a leader who is polarizing. My true passion is to be able to add value to people and circumstances and not add to chaos and misunderstanding.

The power of one word spoken about another life can help redirect your own and remind you of who you desire to be. That is a powerful life testimony and a legacy worth emulating.