Growing Older

Growing older each year isn't an event that has usually affected me emotionally. I haven't been too caught up in the "number" of my age, but have felt fairly content with each phase of life and the idea of getting older. For some reason, however, turning 45 this year has caused me to be more contemplative than usual. I don't know if it's the realization of being halfway through my 40's or checking off a different age bracket (no longer marking the "36-44" box) that has me thinking more about getting older, but this birthday is one that has been looming on the horizon of my mind for several months.

In spite of my thoughts about my age, I've never felt better physically and am in the best shape of my life. Our girls are maturing with one entering college this year and the other two to follow right behind as we enjoy this season of life with them. My wife and I are in our 22nd year of marriage (25th year of being a couple) and are still madly in love. I believe in the calling God has on my life and look forward to these next steps as He continues to guide us forward. With all of those positive things, I still find myself pausing to think more about aging this year than most.

I suppose it is because I am beginning to comprehend the overall brevity of time and windows of opportunity in front of me. Even though those may be open for another 30-45 years, it still is focusing me on the value of each day and how I choose to spend it. I don't want to waste moments I've been given and yet don't want to rush through anything either. This one life is a gift I have been given and I have a deep desire to use it wisely. This is a truth that hasn't changed since I was a teenager, but I am starting to grasp the tremendous value of it as I move farther along my own timeline.

It's been a relatively good ride so far and I'm ready to do what I can to make sure the next part of the journey is just as enjoyable.

Words Escape Me

Words come to me easily a majority of the time. I'm usually able to sit and write or engage in conversation to share what I'm thinking without a great deal of effort. However, there are those seasons in life (even brief) which seem to take the words out of me. I can strive to put some things together during these periods, but it takes extraordinary effort and the results are not always very fruitful.

This past week has been that kind of difficult period. I have had to conserve my words because I have haven't had extra to share. Several times when I sat down to blog I found myself staring at a blank screen for long periods of time before giving up. Even my personal journaling suffered as I couldn't clearly articulate the things I was thinking and feeling. It wasn't necessarily a lack of desire as much as it was an inability to create the coherent, constructive thoughts I normally can craft.

There isn't a quick solution to this ongoing dilemma, but simply a call to be patient in the process of seeking healing and clarity. When words won't flow smoothly, it's sometimes best to just let silence fall. The lack of words will often communicate more clearly than we expect.

Making Time

I spent some time today driving to Atlanta and back for a meeting. I will readily admit that I don't love the traffic in Atlanta. In fact, it makes me appreciate driving in Milledgeville each time I have to pass through there. The good part about the combined four hours of driving is that it gives me time to think and to listen to podcasts. This way I can listen to other leaders, pastors, and authors and use it as a time of personal development. It takes some dead time on the road and makes it more beneficial. Honestly, I should regularly carve out that time each week, but it sometimes takes a road trip to make it happen.

I recognize the importance of being mentally stimulated and challenged and while it happens in various ways throughout the week it's a practice in which I need to be more disciplined. Setting that time aside on a consistent basis will open my mind to new possibilities and help to reshape the way that I view things. It's something that all maturing leaders should take part in.

Pause

When you've been part of events with a significant impact you don't always know what your next steps should be. It's important to take the time to meditate on what you've gone through, but you also don't want to allow too much time to build up or you'll never take action on what has inspired you. The immediate emotions of monumental events will eventually fade and without a plan for follow up action nothing will ever change.

I've found it's best to pause long enough to gain perspective, but then prepare to intentionally do something about it or no change will take place.

Think It Through

My wife and I are at the Exponential conference in Orlando this week receiving a lot of great information & spiritual stimulus. Both of us are motivated to do something what what our eyes have been opened to here. I recognize that we need to prayerfully process things so that we don't jump into areas without measuring the cost. I also know that we need to continue to pray with urgency. Too much time passing tends to lessen excitement and allows us to step back into old patterns of well-learned habits without taking action on the Holy Spirit's prompting. 

Mind Games

I believe in the positive impact of conversation. I find that I am sharpened in the interaction with

other like-minded (and not like-minded) people and the differing viewpoints we all bring. I am also challenged by the things that I read whether it be in books, blogs, or articles. New ideas and interesting glances of old standards cause me to reevaluate the way that I look at things. I also expand my horizons through my own writing whether in blog or journal form. All of these are good ways to change my mindset and steer me in new directions.

These other principles are key for mental development yet the discipline that we often forget to emphasize is the practice of thinking. I don't mean using our thoughts as we run through our day, but focused time that is set aside to meditate and cognitively create. It's a directed, intentional process of meditation that allows our creative juices to flow and stretch the boundaries of what we normally think on. An effective leader will carve out quiet moments to reflect on the past, evaluate the present, and imagine the future. It's this time of thinking that inspires us and gives us glimpses of a potential preferred future. For success in our thoughts that results in productivity we will need to intentionally schedule "think sessions" and use our mental capabilities more effectively.

Stirring Thoughts

I admit that I am a sucker for a good quote. I love a thought-provoking statement that causes me to reevaluate my position or challenges me in new ways. I find that I am a collector of quotes and read back through those that I have written down. It's important (in my humble yet accurate opinion) for us to reflect on the influences that cause us to think. This exercise is our way of achieving good mental health by stretching the boundaries of our thought processes. As I looked back over my notebook of challenging thoughts, these are some that have recently pushed me.

• You can't lead without the willingness to be different, to do what's difficult, and to be misunderstood. It's called courage. -Rick Warren
• The will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us. -Billy Graham
• An expenditure of words without an income of ideas will lead to conceptual bankruptcy. -Ravi Zacharias
• Character is what a man is in the dark. -D.L. Moody
• No man is greater than his prayer life. The pastor who is not praying is playing; the people who are not praying are straying.  -Leonard Ravenhill
• If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.  -Martin Luther King, Jr.
• God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him. -Jim Elliot
• Just because you see the problem doesn't mean you understand the problem. -Carey Nieuwohf
• Ministry leaders often drink a poisonous cocktail of narcissism and isolation. -Scott Thomas & Tom Wood

Think About It

Proverbs 15:25     The Lord detests the thoughts of the wicked, but those of the pure are pleasing to Him.

Sometimes my thought life is my greatest enemy. There are some days when it doesn't take much for my mind to wander into places I don't want to frequent. Some of these are familiar difficulties of struggling self-esteem, revisiting old wounds, being haunted by past sins, and exaggerating current circumstances. I can often recognize these old pathways and make the conscious decision to move in a more positive and productive direction. This doesn't always come easily, but the negativity (and sin) that comes from wallowing in it should spur us to do the hard work of transforming. 

God tells us to take every thought captive in an effort to protect us and so that we might increase our devotion to Him through our efforts. While it may seem impossible at the outset of this endeavor, it becomes more manageable with disciplined spiritual training and the increased influence of the Holy Spirit. Our confidence in the promises of God will blossom when we don't allow our mind to dwell on negative & impure thoughts. We will instead experience transformation that leads to lasting life-change.

Nothing Happening

I am a thinker and like to analyze & process things as I make decisions. This week has challenged my thoughts in many different things: parenting, ministry, vision, relationships, and even purpose. I don't have a lot of clear answers for these things just yet, but they are a work in progress. As a result of this, my sleep pattern has been off more than usual and the end of the week has left me more tired than usual.

These facts ended up changing my Friday-day-off routine. I normally mow yards (ours & our neighbors) and catch up on leadership podcasts & sermon series while doing so. Today I just couldn't bring myself to challenge my mind anymore & simply put my iPod on shuffle and mowed. My eclectic collection of tunes provided the soundtrack I needed today & gave my brain some much needed rest. 

This mental break only reinforces the decree from God to take a Sabbath. While I like to push myself to limits (and beyond) I'm only cheating myself when I don't "unplug" and allow myself to rest. I won't necessarily do a better job of it next week, but I'm hoping that I can slowly start to make progress in the art of doing nothing.

Penny or More

The art of thinking is highly undervalued. I believe that leaders must spend time in thought about vision, the current state of the organization, the health of people around you, and where God is leading you. It can be difficult to carve out the time for thought, but it is essential to gain perspective and grow.

In the same vein I find that too much introspective thought can become detrimental. While I enjoy the mental stimulation of in-depth processing I find that sometimes it can become overly inward focused. What begins as something positive can shift to becoming too critical of your own motivation, building up of scenarios that don't exist, and detracting from the meditation that should lead us closer to God. It is another reflection of God's directive to take every thought captive so that it builds us up and draws us closer to Him. It is a discipline that we learn to apply correctly as we increase in our Christian maturity.

Just Do It

Andrew Murray (South African minister) wrote in his book, Working for God that "True action is born of contemplation." It is a short statement filled with complexity and challenge and brings attention to the need for thought and follow through.

There is a link between the need to carefully think things through and the need to pull the trigger and step into action. I would wager that the difficulties we have in personal growth, spiritual disciplines, and life change stem from our inability to work in both ends of that equation. My experience has been that we will talk and think about the things we want to happen in our lives (i.e. getting in better shape, becoming a better spouse, practicing financial responsibility, growing closer to God) but it stops in the talk phase. We may contemplate the person that we desire to be, but we never follow through on it.

There are also the times when we exert no mental energy, but simply jump into what seems/feels right in that moment. This leads to a short-sighted decision that might bring immediate, temporary gratification, but short-changes the potential for our future and isn't the most beneficial for us in the long run.

I believe that the value of "thinking" is underrated, but there also has to be a call to take action. It is in the gestation phase of prayerful, considerate thought that the birth of godly action is prepared. To see the greatest impact on our lives we must be ready to work through both.