The old expression is that you have to walk a mile in someones shoes to understand their problems and to give them a little compassion. The mistake that we often make is that we put on other people's shoes without taking ours off first. Instead of seeing things from their perspective we end up looking at things from our viewpoint. While this might help us be more comfortable it won't provide the most effective compassion for their situation.
Being willing to step away from our own experience and viewpoint to gain understanding for someone takes maturity and intentional effort. It is not always easy to do, but it is the mark of someone who truly cares for others. It is an extension of the grace that has been given to us and reveals whether we actually are invested in building Kingdom relationships.