More Than Words

As I wrote yesterday, I have an understanding of the power of words and also see tremendous value in the right words being spoken at the right time. I saw this in action today as I was able to do one of my favorite things as a pastor, and officiate the wedding of a wonderful couple.

It was a day marked by their desire to enter into a covenant relationship and affirm their love for each other. The ceremony was brief and filled with words that spoke of great promise. These were words that were carefully chosen to represent their love for each other and the vows they were sharing. There was added power and accountability to these words as they had selected a group of friends and family to bear witness to what was said over them. The depth of this commitment was in what was spoken, but most importantly in the intent of what was shared.

This is a time in life when words are extremely important. Not only are they a reflection of deep love, but also a promise for a great unknown future and a commitment to endure. I'm grateful for a chance to play a small part in days like this as a front row witness and guide even as I'm reminded of the depth of our verbal promises.

Power

A large part of what I do involves written and spoken word. I communicate daily through my blog and have significant conversations each week with people in need. Of course I also have the tremendous opportunity to teach hundreds of people frequently on Sundays as well. Fortunately, I understand how powerful those words are and the incredible trust I have been given to share them in the most influential way.

Recognizing that I need to be careful with my use of words has taken time. It's been a difficult lesson that has been taught through failure and collateral damage. I still don't always get it right, but my respect for the immense power of my speech and written word has increased tremendously as I have matured. Imagine the positive difference we would see in our culture if would carefully weigh each opportunity to communicate.

Defining Moments

I have heard some people say that they don't want to be defined by one moment in their lives. Unfortunately, I don't believe that we can deny the truth of that principle. We will be defined by the moments in our lives that are filled with joy and success as well as those described by sorrow and failure. It is up to each of us, however, to decide what that definition will be. It is in the choices we make after these events that our true definition is shaped.

Will we allow these sentinel events to condemn us for the future or be the impetus to change our course for the better?

What's Left?

Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes. His wife said to him, "Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!" Job 2:8-9  

Job is an iconic man of suffering from the Bible. He was blessed with livestock, children, a large home, possessions, good health, and his wife. In one quick afternoon he lost all of it except for his loving wife. Even though I have tended to be a little harsh in my assessment of her, I need to remember that she had suffered great loss as well. She and Job were now at the point where everything that had once been important to them both was gone. Mrs. Job speaks out of frustration when she wonders why her husband is clinging to his integrity.

The thought occurred to me this morning: maybe he's hanging on to his integrity because it's all that he has left. Isn't that true for all of us though? We might surround ourselves with other things and even inflate our own ego with possessions, talent, and influence. If all of those things are stripped away however, there should be something that is stable and unchanging. When everything else is removed our character should still stand strong. It's in these desperate moments when we find out if our integrity has the value we think it does.

When all of our "stuff" is gone-who are we? If we can't answer that with confident authority we might need to start working on reshaping our character.

Start & Stop

If your resume described you as someone who starts and stops things, it wouldn't necessarily be seen as a positive character trait. The perception would be of someone who isn't capable of seeing a project to completion or who lacks focus. When channeled properly, however, I believe it would be a valuable asset to say you are an expert at starting and stopping.

There are two key components to making this a positive attribute:

1. Recognizing you can't effectively start something unless you stop something else
2. Developing enough self-awareness to see what must be stopped for you to grow

What do you need to start and stop in your life? Your capacity is limited by the finite number of connectors you possess for relationships, mental energy, productivity, leadership, and serving. To mature we need to have the courage to stop something that might be good so that you can start what is best.

Looking for Something Different

I like new things. That may be hard to believe if you examined my life and the things around me. I drive a 1993 Volvo and my wife drives our 2003 Dodge Caravan. My closet and dresser contain clothes that (for the most part) I have had for several years. In fact, there are clothes that I wear that are still in good shape and are at least a decade old. My favorite chair in our house is an old rose-colored recliner that was given to us by a close friend over 15 years ago. It's obvious that I find things that I like and hang on them.

Even though that is true about my personal belongings I am still enthralled by something new. I love to stumble across a new musical artist or discover an unknown, talented author. I get great pleasure from a new restaurant or a new way of cooking something familiar. I love the newness of adjusting to the homes we have moved into over the last five years. As an extrovert (and pastor) I like to meet new people and learn new things about people I've known for a long time. I am eager to hear new ideas and discover something that might stretch my own thought processes.

There is just something attractive about the concept of newness. I think we all need some of this in our life to bring freshness to our routines and expand our minds. Hang on to some things, but learn to find enjoyment in the discovery of something new.

Can't Earn It

I struggle with the idea of my own worth. I often feel as I have to win people's approval and that the positive things I do have to outweigh the negative. It's a mindset that leads me to try to live up to the nice things people do for me. I feel as if I have to earn their respect and cooperation and if I don't then I am unworthy of this favor. It doesn't just relate to personal circumstances either. It spills over into my career where I falsely believe that I am measured solely by the latest message or most recent successful initiative. It's a trap of performance that negates the gift of grace.

I'm sure that I am not alone in this trap. Too many of us believe in the concept of grace and yet live as if we are defined solely by our works. It's a faulty understanding of God that causes us to believe that our entire life is a ledger filled with debits and credits. It's an error that has us believing that other people are staring at us and asking the question, "What have you done for me lately?" While that thought might be true of some people (who obviously don't fully understand grace either), the incredibly good news is that God doesn't treat us this way. An obedient, serving life reflects devotion to God, but it isn't necessary to gain His approval. His grace truly cannot be earned, but can only be humbly accepted. It's the freedom found in accepting it that I struggle so often to comprehend. Fortunately, as I grow to understand God's generously loving character I find it easier to grab on to what He offers.