Seeking Serenity

We have recently started a program called Celebrate Recovery which is a Christ-based recovery program aimed at helping people find healing from life's hurts, hang-ups, and habits. There are repeated elements of the weekly service which help as we all search for positive routines in our life. One of those practices involves reading the serenity prayer aloud collectively before dismissing to our groups. While the repetition can potentially lead to numb recitation it can also become more powerful as it embeds itself in our spirit. The words are powerful if we focus on the intent behind them and hopefully learn to make it a vital part of how we push forward in recovery each day.


God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

Pick Up Your Head

One of the most useful tools developed in the last decade is the smart phone. I will admit I have a difficult time imagining how to get work done without one. It's also incredibly useful for my personal life and helps me keep track of important items and reminders. They have also become a handy distraction for when we have to wait. It only takes a minute or two waiting in a line before we pull our phones out and start scrolling through social media, texting someone, or playing a game. While this might seem to help pass the time, I think it can actually be a detriment to real relationships.

I think we've forgotten how to engage in conversations. I think we've neglected the art of being in a moment. Our first reaction when we are forced to wait is to escape to some other place. What if we stopped in those lengthy moments and noticed the people around us? What are we missing out on because our faces are pointed downwards towards our devices? I don't intend this to be a rant against technology because in truth, I am a big fan of technology and find it to be extremely useful. I can only speak from the personal conviction I feel to not jump to my phone when I have a moment of inaction.

Put down your phone and engage in the life around you.

Trying to Find It

When I left Daytona Beach to finish my college degree in Nashville, Tennessee, I was enrolled at Lipscomb University. It is a Christian school and I had certain expectations about the culture I was stepping into. As someone who had struggled to maintain a commitment to a Christian way of life, I expected it would be easier to stay focused on this campus. I mentioned this to a friend of mine (who had also attended Lipscomb) and he shared a thought with me I have never forgotten. He said, "Craig, you will find what you look for." He wasn't trying to discourage me, but wanted to give realistic counsel. Everything I might want to see is available depending on how diligently I'm willing to search.

That principle is still true today. Despite what our social media feeds and news headlines might tell us, there is still a lot of good in our world if we look for it. If we only want to focus on the negative and complain about what's wrong, there will be plenty of that available as well. It's up to us as individuals to decide what we want to search for and how we want to see things. The people and circumstances in our lives will be partially defined by how we view them. What we find depends on what we seek.

Surviving the Heat

The smoldering hot summer temperatures are here. Other parts of the country have been feeling them longer than we have here in Georgia and we are now in the middle of the oppressive heat. It's an overwhelming high temperature that tests the capacity of air conditioning systems and human tolerance. This obviously leads to complaints wherever you go about the summer time temps and how awful they are.

I can't do anything to change the triple digit heat, but I can try to do things to adapt. I've had to adjust my exercise routine and no longer run right after work. We're closing curtains to keep out direct sunlight and have added a window A/C unit in our bedroom. We've even adjusted our dinner habits on the hottest of days and don't cook anything that requires the oven to be on for long periods of time. Our best option is to make adaptations where we can for our best benefit.

There are many circumstances in our lives we can't directly alter. Complaining about the state of things often becomes the next natural step even though that only increases our frustration level. When we are faced with those seemingly unconquerable moments, we'll cope more effectively by shifting our perspective. We aren't always able to transform what we're going through, but we can revise the way we approach it.

If you can’t change your circumstances, you’ll need to change your attitude if you want to survive.

Moving Along

It's no secret that I've become addicted to running in the last year and half. If I go too many days without putting in miles, I start to twitch and become a little unruly. When I'm running I listen to music and also use a running app that alerts me to my running splits. I currently have it set to tell me what my last mile's pace was so I can make adjustments if necessary. There have been several times when I set out at what I thought was a moderate pace only to find out I was running much faster than I anticipated.

Once I realize how fast I'm moving, I have two choices. I can keep up that fast pace or slow down. The biggest factor in my decision is how far I intend to run as the distance is the key for the pace I set. It's no big secret that I can keep up a much faster pace if I am only out for shorter distances.

This is the same for other areas of my life too. I can maintain a fairly frenetic pace if I am only maintaining it for a short period of time. I can get by with less sleep and higher levels of stress if I know there is an end in sight. My energy levels, coping skills, and relationships tend to suffer if I try to keep moving too quickly over long periods of time. If I want to stay healthy, I've got to recognize how fast I'm moving and determine how long I can sustain it before I have to come to a stop.

Vision Training

Ted Williams was arguably one of the greatest baseball players of all time. He is the last man to hit .400 over an entire baseball season and is a measuring stick for all great hitters. Baseball legends report that his eyesight was so crisp he could see the seams on the baseball as it was thrown from the pitcher. Whether that was true or not, he still had extraordinary vision which is key for success in baseball.

This type of vision doesn't come naturally for everyone. When I was in college, our baseball team went through vision training drills. We would set up a room in the offseason where each player would go through exercises specifically trained to increase peripheral vision and reaction time. These also included agility and balance drills while focusing on improving eyesight. The theory was that training a player's vision would improve their performance.

We had no real time data to determine if this made baseball players better, but the principle of vision training applies to other parts of our life. We function as parents because of what we have seen our parents do (or not do.) We lead others because of how we have seen other people lead. Our life experiences shape the way we view things. These are all a current part of our vision, but they don't have to be the permanent way we we look at things. I believe we have the choice to train ourselves to look at people, circumstances, and our environment differently. We have the power to decide the old way of looking at things is not satisfactory and to do something different. It may not be easy to retrain our vision, but it is possible if we decide it matters enough to us.

Being a Dad

I still remember when my wife told me she was pregnant with our first child. There aren't really adequate words to describe the overwhelming joy, excitement, and anxiety of realizing you are going to be a father. I had the opportunity to get used to that feeling as we ended up having three daughters in a little over three years. With three girls that young and close in age there were many times we were just trying to survive while keeping them alive as well. We didn't always know what we were doing (that never changes apparently), but did the best we could with love, laughter, and grace.

Being a father has been one of my most challenging and rewarding life roles. I have never felt qualified (are any of us?) to effectively lead my girls, but have strived to let them know they are loved. I know I've made a ton of mistakes, but I'm hoping they have heard my message of grace for myself and for them. I couldn't love them any more than I do and am excited (and slightly nervous) about this next season of life. I am truly honored to be their father and to love and lead them with their mother. I don't take this responsibility lightly and am grateful every day for the blessing of being their dad.