The Biggest Risk

What if I’m honest with you about who I am and you don’t like me? Then I’ve been real and my real self has been rejected. Is that a risk we are willing to take? That’s why we don’t practice transparency. If you criticize a false image of me, you haven’t really hurt me even though it might sting a little. This leaves us with a choice to make: hide who we really are in an effort to protect ourselves or be real and hope for the best. We might feel safer with the former choice, but we’ll never engage in a relationship of significance unless we choose the latter.

Authentic community doesn’t happen without the risky step of being who we really are.

Shaky Ground

I've always enjoyed watching cartoons and am a huge fan of the Bugs Bunny franchise. I've passed that on to my girls as we still periodically enjoy watching those old adventures. When I was a kid I was particularly amazed at the climbing skills of Sylvester the Cat. When his nemesis (and desired dinner) Tweety Bird was in his cage near the ceiling, Sylvester would use whatever was handy to reach him. He would stack furniture, books, mannequins, lamps, and any other household object to get high enough to reach his prey. Predictably, something would happen which would cause Sylvester to come crashing down. While perfect for comedic effect I often wondered why he didn't just find a ladder so he could stand on something stable.

I don't know many people who would be foolish enough to stand on something so poorly physically constructed. I do feel certain I am in a large company of people who have tried to stand firmly on our own shaky emotional and mental ground. We've all taken a strong stance on a poorly formed idea, placed too much emphasis on our own incomplete observations, or treated people differently based on weak assumptions. The problem with these ill-designed foundations is that they quickly fall apart under pressure and injure anyone close by. This type of instability isn't healthy for creating positive relationships and will cause extensive damage.

The solution isn't to create more solid arguments to tear people apart, but to search for the truth with a desire of building unity. Building a firm foundation of genuine care for others means we disregard incomplete, foolish thoughts and take the time to forge real relationships that last.

Open for Business

This past summer I was at camp getting ready for a week with 160 middle school friends and adults and wanted to get dinner with our set up crew. I asked one of the camp staffers what he recommended and he sent me to a local restaurant with good healthy options and a decent cost. We were looking forward to trying a new place, but were quickly disappointed. When we arrived the sign on the window said they were open for business and their posted hours indicated they should be ready for us. Sadly, it was clear no one was there and we weren't going to be able to try this place after all. Even though their outward signs might have indicated they were available for our business, they obviously weren't.

I wonder how often I portray that some conflicting message to people around me. Am I really making myself available to others or is that an inaccurate representation? Am I "too busy" to be available to my wife and my children? Am I taking the steps to clear my mind and be in that moment when someone says they need to talk? Am I actually open to people who are seeking guidance or mentoring? Am I am available to my neighbors for more than just a casual wave as I drive down the street? Am I even available to God or am I too busy filling my conversations with Him with my own requests for what I think is important? 

I can't just give lip service to the idea of being there for people, but need to show a willingness to participate in life with them. That means I've got to set down my agenda and schedule and focus individually on the person in front of me. This takes extra effort, but genuine relationships are only built when we actively engage in each other and are available for developing community that lasts.

God on the Shelf

I've discovered that I can't relegate God to certain circumstances or big moments and expect to have a relationship that means something. While God promises to always be there for us when we call on Him, He is not content with being a once-in-a-while God either. Honestly, we don't have the power to limit God's ability to work in our lives, but we do get to choose our level of attention and devotion. We fool ourselves however, if we believe we have the power to keep God on a shelf to be used at our convenience. He isn't a magic genie that exists to help us in times of trouble. He will continue to see His will fulfilled through our on-and-off devotion while waiting for us to get serious about following Him. We might think we are keeping Him at a safe distance until we need Him, but He is intimately involved in our lives whether we recognize it or not. He wouldn't be fully God if it was any other way.

Gifted

The Gift and the One who gave the Gift are the same. You cannot have one without the other. The Gift and the Gift-giver are a package deal. 

Limitless Life, Derwin Gray

You can't expect to receive all that God has to offer without accepting Him as well. We might see portions of forgiveness, grace, mercy, and purpose without having a relationship with Him. We won't ever fully experience the beauty and power of what God offers if we won't commit to following Him though. It won't be a personal journey then, but merely a secondary spirituality that only comes into contact with the purity of God through other people. That's not the depth of commitment that interests God and it's less than appealing to us. All of God's gifts are illusions without Him at the center of them. 

Fulfillment and contentment are found in all of who God is.

It's a Risk

Most of us fear rejection. We don't like to take a risk and then be summarily dismissed. It can be an intimidating prospect to be rejected for a job, a date, or an opportunity. It's much more painful if we feel that action is directed specifically at our identity.

John Powell wrote in his book, Why I Am Afraid To Tell You Who I Am?, "I am afraid to tell you who I am, because, if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it's all that I have." We avoid personal honesty & transparency because that puts us at tremendous risk of injury if it isn't received well. While we might feel that constructing a facade to hide our true selves behind will keep us safe, it will also ensure the lack of real relationship & community. We won't ever be able to enjoy depth in our most personal relationships and will become increasingly isolated.

I'm not suggesting that we need to rent a billboard to advertise our true selves or spew all of it out via social media. Instead we make an intentional effort with a select few people to share who we really are. It's a risky endeavor, but one that brings depth in its rewards.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Rumor Has It

Job answered God: "I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything. Nothing and no one can upset your plans. You asked, 'Who is muddying this water, ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?' I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head. You told me, 'Listen, and let me do the talking. Let me ask the questions. You give the answers. I admit I once lived by rumors of you; now I have it all firsthand--from my own eyes and ears! I'm sorry--forgive me. I'll never do that again, I promise! I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor."  Job 42:1-6


Are we living in the truth we have experienced with God or only in the rumors we have heard from other people? The power of testimony draws us in to find God, but we aren't saved by someone else's story of salvation. Stop believing the rumors and find your own God story.