Too Much

I am re-reading the entire Bible again this year and have started in Genesis and the story of our beginning. I was reading about Adam and how long he lived (930 total years!) and his son, Seth who lived 912 years. When you read this passage you realize Seth lived 112 years after his father died. My thought this morning was that this was a long time to live while missing a loved one. I know they had hundreds of years together, but that would probably make the loss feel even greater.

The idea of being young and/or living forever has been pursued for centuries. While there are parts of that idea which seem attractive, I found myself thinking the opposite this morning. We obviously don't live as long as early man once did and I am grateful. Living that length of time provides a lot of years of sorrow. I realize there is great joy in life as well, but there is an abundance of trials and we experience much loss. I know how hard it is to effectively cope in our limited time and couldn't imagine making my way through it over 500 or more years.

It's another reminder to me that while there are beautiful pieces of this life for us to experience, we aren't ultimately made for this world. I have no desire to rush through the life I am allowed to have here, but I also recognize I am created for more than just this time.

Something beyond this earth is what our hearts long for and will eventually find, whenever that may be.

Unified in Sorrow

The tragic events in Charleston have left me speechless. I have no powerful words of wisdom or insightful words of encouragement to make this better. I am simply heartbroken for families who have experienced painful loss and deeply wounded for the far-reaching implications of this selfish act for the rest of us. While I don't know what to say or do right now, I recognize that silence is not an option. I can choose to stand tall with my brothers and sisters in unity and will do so as we seek peace and healing together.

Old Friend

We had to put our old dog, Zeddy, to sleep today. These decisions are never easy to make and even when it's the obvious, right choice it still causes heartache. Any attempt to keep him around would only be selfish on our part at this point of his health.

There is a palpable sorrow in our house over our loss of this smelly old dog that was ever faithful and tolerant. He was always clearly my wife's dog and would follow her from room to room while often getting under foot. When my wife would leave the house he would sit at the front door and whimper until she returned. His loyalty was clearly with her before all others.

Zeddy also absorbed his share of ridicule over the years at the hands of three girls that loved him deeply. They would dress him up and take pictures, carry him around in baskets and bags, and cover him with blankets and stuffed animals. I don't think he ever minded because all of it meant that he was loved and that was good enough for him.

He was as stubborn as any dog I've ever met and was the ultimate escape artist when he was younger. Zeddy would wait for the exact moment your attention was elsewhere and would bolt away. Before his hips betrayed him he was one of the fastest dogs I've ever seen and couldn't be caught unless he wanted you to catch him. We would often sit around and tell stories of his running escapades and adventures in stupidity.

I made jokes about him and would often laugh at his escapades, but will miss him deeply as well. Good dogs have a way of working into your heart while becoming an integral part of your family and letting them go is painful no matter the circumstances.

In Grief

The shortest verse in the Bible is found in John 11:35 where it simply says that "Jesus wept." It is at a time when a close friend of his has died and people are attributing his emotions to this loss. I tend to believe it also revealed how Jesus understood the power death has over us. Even though Jesus was going to defeat this forever, He knew how much grief it would cause us. He knew the pain we would have to endure when we were confronted by it, and the deep sorrow we would feel.

I have seen death and its effects too much recently. I too grieve as Jesus did for those that suffer and I turn to the only answer I know. It's the solution of Christ, His peace that passes understanding and our confidence in a life beyond this one. It doesn't eliminate our sorrow, but it provides the only true source of hope.

Different Paths

I don't believe in coincidences. I instead believe in the divine, sovereign plan of God who works through our
choices and circumstances to draw our attention to Him and to highlight things of importance. I had one of those moments occur today from two different stories that were both related to my teaching at Mainland High School.

When I left the Athletic Training program at MHS, I was tremendously impressed with the gentleman who took my place. He & I maintained a great friendship and I couldn't have been more thrilled with the work he did there to continue a tradition of excellence. The position just came open again this year and I was contacted by a former program student asking to list me as a reference for the position. I enthusiastically gave my endorsement and was very excited to hear that he had gotten the position. It is a symbolic continuation of carrying the torch from an invested member of our academy and program. I am proud of him and his excellence in his profession and look forward to seeing what God is going to do through his leadership.

It wasn't long after I saw this excellent information that I stumbled across another former student. Her story is very different. She was in my health class for a semester and I vividly remember her and her best friend. I continued to see her around town over the years and it was obvious that she was struggling with life. She wasn't always making the right choices and that was evident from the company she kept. When she became pregnant, I thought she had cleaned herself up and was on the right path of responsibility. Sadly, that did not seem to be the case. As I read through her Facebook profile I saw that she battled addiction, gave birth to another child, and then took her own life.

I was saddened to travel down the pathway of her destruction even from a distance. It was such a tremendous extreme of paths from one highly successful young man to another very-loved young woman who couldn't seem to escape her demons. My interaction with them was very different, but both will continue to be seared in my memory forever.

I don't understand everything God is trying to show me through these two intersecting, yet divergent paths. Perhaps it's a reminder of how important our investment in other people is and yet a powerful indication that our impact is still limited and personal choices will determine their future. I don't know what else I could have done for her, but it certainly encourages me to keep investing in people for the sake of providing even a small ray of hope for a better future.

Life Hurts

Sometimes life is difficult. I'm not talking about small interpersonal conflicts or stress at work, although they can create a tension to be managed as well. I'm writing specifically about the gut-wrenching pain that we suffer when things go horribly wrong. It's the hammering of your heart in your chest as the doctor tells you that you have cancer. It's the deep sorrow that envelopes your soul as you learn of an unexpected death. It's the shock and pain of discovering you have been betrayed by someone you trust. It's the incredible sense of loss when that person you love has walked out of your life for good.

I haven't endured all of these, but I have experienced enough to know how deeply these can wound you. In the middle of the initial shock and recovery you often feel as if you can't see past the pain. When we see those we care about suffering we want to help, but often don't know what to say or do. There are no easy answers and often the cliche statements (although spoken with good intentions) don't appease the pain.

When life hurts perhaps the best thing we can do is simply be with the people we care about. Words aren't even necessary, but we can provide comfort through our tears and our intentional presence. We learn to trust in the God of peace and the comfort that He brings through us as we share in the grief of our loved ones. Trusting in His soothing Spirit is better than any words we can speak.