Failure of Nerve: Faithfully

(This is the final blog on of a series of blogs on failure of nerve. Click here to read the introduction blog or find any previous installment in the column to the right.)

I believe that God has called us to something greater than the life we are currently leading. Even if we are actively living in faith, God has a grander plan than we can imagine. I feel that we get glimpses of this as we invest more relational energy in seeking Him, but I also think that we become afraid of what the next steps will be and what they will potentially cost us. This particular failure of nerve keeps us trapped in the same location following a replica of the pattern we've followed for years. We are afraid to take the next step of obedience and follow through in baptism, sacrifice money and time to go on a missions trip, re-prioritize our finances to practice deliberate generosity, intentionally invest in our community, or leave our comfortable position to travel somewhere new and do something ridiculously big for God's Kingdom. 

There is a grand adventure of faith waiting for each of us--I have no doubt about that. The choice to follow it is a matter of faith for each of us. Overcoming this failure of nerve is the difference between living a good, safe life or risking it all for an adventure with greater challenges and rewards than we can begin to fathom. Where is the step of faith that you have been afraid to take? How you can you overcome that failure of nerve and begin to move forward today?

Failure of Nerve: Confrontational

(This is part seven of a series of blogs on failure of nerve. Click here to read the introduction blog.)

Let me issue this disclaimer at the beginning of this blog. This is an entry intended for those that have already committed their lives to following Christ. The concept of confronting personal choices of sin doesn't apply to anyone who is not a Christ follower. While the law, societal moral codes, and common decency can guide our behavior and should be emphasized, the enforcement of God's law won't shoehorn anyone into a relationship with Him. I think that the church sometimes forgets this concept and tries to impose Biblical regulations on people who need to hear about God's abundant grace & fantastic mercy first. Attempting to legalistically excise behaviors before a heart is transformed produces a spiritual vacuum that will only be filled with new poor choices. 

Confronting sin is an extremely unpleasant undertaking. It's often easier to sit in the church and talk about what's wrong with the world than it is to talk to Christ followers that are trapped in their own sin. Jesus gave us a model for doing this because He knew that it would be necessary and that it would also be a tough task. Unfortunately, we often fall into two different camps in terms of our reaction to sinful choices. We either ignore it in a misguided attempt to keep peace (and a complete failure of nerve and responsibility) or we attack the individual without following Jesus' model of love and mercy. It's an interesting scenario when we confront sin with our own sinful attitude. 

God tells us what is acceptable and expects His followers to lovingly approach each other with confession, repentance, and restoration in mind. When we declare that our lives belong to Him we simply can't tolerate things that God won't accept either. Ignoring these behaviors in the church will lead to disunity and the removal of God's protection and blessing. Attacking people instead of gently reminding them of their commitment to Christ and prayerfully helping them to overcome it will break down the church as well. The world is watching how the church treats their own. If we demonstrate kindness and genuine love we stand a far better chance of healing a fellow follower and creating an avenue to reaching the world as well.

Failure of Nerve: Share the Truth

(This is part six of a series of blogs on failure of nerve. Click here to read the introduction blog.)

Rejection is something that most of us work to avoid. We analyze the possibility that our advances might not be well received and often choose not to take the risk. This can be true of our personal relationships, but can be particularly paralyzing when we're fearful of sharing Christ. 

I have never baptized someone who wasn't excited about their decision. That powerful moment produces emotional and spiritual energy that fosters transformation and the realization of a preferred future. Excitement bubbles over at the inner peace we now have and new vision is gained as the blinders of our past beliefs and decisions is finally lifted. This is a sentinel moment in our lives and most people can't wait to share it with other people. It's interesting then how quickly that enthusiasm for sharing can often fade. While we are passionate about the personal decision we have made we become reticent to pass that energy on for fear of alienating someone, offending their beliefs, or appearing intolerant of other viewpoints. 

All things need to be done in love and not necessarily by force, but we have to set aside this particular failure of nerve for the sake of eternity. It's a shifting viewpoint of choosing to share the story of our journey with Christ instead of fearing what someones response will be. Overcoming this hesitation isn't a matter of improving our daily life as much as it is giving a person an opportunity to change their eternal destiny. It's far less about our fears and more about our obedience to our calling as Christ followers.

Failure of Nerve: Career Path

(This is part five of a series of blogs on failure of nerve. Click here to read the introduction blog.)

It's becoming more common to change your career path in the middle of life, but it's still not an easy decision to make. I still remember being completely unprepared when God offered me the opportunity to leave the high school level and step into ministry. I mentally and spiritually battled through the decision for four days before deciding to take the leap of faith. It was difficult to think about leaving behind a program that I had worked diligently at for years, the incredibly close friendships that had been developed, and the young lives that I was having an impact on each day. It was a difficult enough decision that I changed my mind several times before saying yes. In fact, I had firmly made up my mind to say no, but was encouraged by my wife's direct, gentle honesty and a good friend's counsel. 

I attribute my hesitance to my failure of nerve. Leaving something that I knew well and was good at was an enormous risk. For the most part I knew what the future held for me at Mainland and the path that I could choose to walk down for future advancement and personal goals. The potential of where God was leading me was much more abstract than what I already had in front of me. I had to set aside my trepidation and trust that God's plan was more fulfilling than the one I was already on. 

How many people walk up to the edge of new opportunities and then quietly shrink back to their "comfortable" present reality? It's a definitive leap of faith to change our career-a part of our lives where we place so much of our identity. At the root of our indecision is a lack of trust in God's power to direct our lives and our fear at letting so much change take place. Let God keep transforming you and opening you to the potential for new possibilities. Don't let the failure of nerve keep you so focused on job security that you miss out on the grand adventure that could be waiting.

Failure of Nerve: Money Talk

This is part four of a series of blogs on failure of nerve. Click here to read the introduction blog.)

I love being generous. I enjoy treating my family and friends to meals, events, and gifts and watching their reactions and pleasure. We didn't have any expendable income when I was growing up so I'm sure that contributes to my desire to spoil those that I care about. My wife and I also love to be generous for the sake of God's Kingdom. We want to support missionaries, sponsor children, and contribute to the growth of our local church. It's a way to feel that our God-given resources are being used in a way that makes a difference that is bigger than we are. 

This wasn't always our mindset. Early in our marriage we were consumed with the next best thing and how we could enjoy something now by paying for it later. It led us down a nasty road of debt and poor financial management and constrained the freedom of our resources. We were also a one-income family after children arrived and had limited earning potential working in the school system. In the midst of an unbalanced checkbook we couldn't even see the possibility of giving generously for the cause of Christ. It was easier to put a $20 bill in the offering plate to appease temporary guilt than doing more and trusting God to cover the gap. 

It isn't an easy transition in the beginning, but a failure of nerve in our finances will never lead to a balanced budget. As difficult as it may seem at the start, we have to prayerfully commit to taking the first step of faith and giving to God's Kingdom work first. It might mean saying no to the newest outfit, car, dining experience or road trip, but it will bring deeper satisfaction when we see the impact we are having in lives beyond our own. Start trusting God with the management of your resources first instead of doing what we think is best and then asking Him to bless the decisions we made without His input in the first place. 

Failure of Nerve: Parenting

(This is part three of a series of blogs on failure of nerve. Click here to read the introduction blog.)

I've had many different jobs in my life. I worked all summer at a state park in maintenance, delivered newspapers, worked in the fast food industry, done telemarketing (hated it!), waited tables, managed a restaurant, taught high school, worked in athletic training, and am now a pastor. In all of my varied experience however, nothing has been as difficult as parenting. Please don't mistake my admission of difficulty as regret. I love my daughters deeply and my wife and I can't imagine life without them. It is still one of the most emotionally and spiritually challenging responsibilities we have ever had.

Parenting requires patience, forethought, insight, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. The immense responsibility that God has given us in teaching them and guiding them can be overwhelming. I think this is where so many parents get confused. They believe that their ultimate goal is to make their children happy. While I enjoy it when my children are happy I also realize that their temporary emotional state cannot be the ultimate goal. This means that we will often have to make decisions that they will not agree with nor understand. It leads to us having heart-wrenching discussions as we delve into topics that make them (and us!) uncomfortable at times. While it might mean that things are tense at home sometimes, we firmly believe that our daughters will be better in the long run because we were willing to have the hard talks. Unfortunately, I have witnessed too many parents exhibit failure of nerve by refusing to confront sin and struggling through the process of helping their children develop God-centered decision making skills. 

God blessed us with the gift of our children and has asked us to raise them His way. Seeking to be their best friend and simply maintain peace might make the home an easier place to live for a while, but this particular failure of nerve will eventually damage your relationship and leave your children unable to interact with society in a mature and wise way. Take a deep breath, pray and ask for God's wisdom, and do the right thing while you still have daily influence.

Failure of Nerve: Wedded Bliss

(This is part two of a series of blogs on failure of nerve. Click here to read the introduction blog.)

Marriage is a complicated relationship and one that takes a great deal of investment to thrive. I

believe that almost all couples enter into this covenant with a firm desire to make it succeed. We are willing to share, meet each other's needs, encourage each other spiritually and emotionally, and work through any circumstances. As time goes by we can become less focused on the things that made our marriage better and they fall by the side of the road on our journey. Husbands and wives find themselves trapped in self-made, cyclical prisons of routine and life demands and neglect the positive habits that kept them together. When conflicts arise we are left with two choices: engage in the difficult conversations and work through the raw emotions to heal or shove everything aside and pretend nothing is wrong. It takes courage to make things right when they've been wrong for so long. Failure of nerve in our marriage leads to an unhealthy, isolated relationship.

Have the courage to humble yourself, remember how much you love your spouse, and do the grunt work to make your relationship better.

Failure of Nerve

Have you ever seen an opportunity to do something right (even if it might be difficult) and chose to walk

away? Failure of nerve is when we don't have the disciplined courage to take action when it's necessary. It is a reflection of our own spiritual immaturity, apathy, selfishness, and fear. I can write about this with some authority based on my own failings. Far too often I have refused to address wrongs or walk away from situations I disagree with, but simply hoped they would get better on their own. I have been guilty of seeing someone with a physical need and turning my eyes away. I didn't have the courage to speak truth to someone in a loving way so I chose to ignore them instead. I'm not proud of these moments, but I recognize when I have allowed a failure of nerve to prevent me from taking action.

What questions  are we afraid to ask? What actions are we afraid to take? What risks do we avoid because we aren't sure of the outcome? This can be a pervasive problem and usually cannot be constrained to just one area of our life. It's time to explore potential pitfalls of fear and address them if we want to grow.