I managed to push through all of our recent history maintaining a strength and focus that was certainly beyond me. We dealt with the news of our departure from our Florida church and the fallout by committing our family to God and His ultimate plan for our lives. The process was quick--within a month of the resignation we were here in Georgia and working. There is no doubt that God orchestrated it all to lead us here and I know that the future is bright with Him leading the way.
Believing in that is one thing, but a wounded heart takes a whole lot longer to heal. I can honestly admit that I was at peace throughout the entire turmoil and subsequent process. I never lost my temper nor was I really tempted to do so. Now that we are here and working I do find that I am hurt more than I wanted to admit. Being forcibly ripped out of our lives there and the lives of people that I care about leaves gaping wounds that don't become whole overnight. Constant reminders of what once was cause an ache in my heart and soul. Resentment flares up and then dissipates. The friends that have decided that our previous relationship was only pertinent due to proximity bring about heartfelt disappointment. I liken it to the grief process-denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. In no way does it compare to loss of life, but my heart doesn't know the difference. It grieves for what is lost-a status, a place, a church, and relationships that will never be the same.
I know that He will make me new again-He does it every day. The process itself is painful though and I know that I don't have the strength to do this on my own. I will simply trust in my King and take comfort in how He is already doing His work on my heart.
If anyone belongs to Christ, there is a new creation. The old things have gone; everything is made new. 2 Corinthians 5:17